Dear diary,
BREAK-UP AWKWARDNESS!
Things are awkward. I mean nothing's quite right. I try to do something else and end up doing something very very wrong. For example I was trying to find out the mystery about a guy the saddened mystery about his eyes, but ended up falling in love with him. I didn't wanted to love him, it just happened. It was all wrong loving him so much,Something clicked for him. I had him for a year and a half and I've come to realize that no matter how much you love some or how truly you do it, if the feeling's not mutual you won't make it through. I'm struggling. I'm Struggling to get him out of my mind my life my thoughts my eyes everything. All I know is that he was the right person at a wrong time. wrong time for him.
I've tried to keep up with him, throughout my sickness and my problems but he just never cared about me I guess. I don't know how to put my feeling into words. But I know for sure that My heart at this very moment is shattered, and you know the worst part I can't tell that to anyone, because nobody cares diary. I left him for good diary, for his good. There's this feeling that no matter how much i wait for him he will never have time for me. And I don't deserve that sort of punishment for just loving someone too deeply.
I have no idea why at the age of fifteen I fell in love. Where did such a thing came into my mind like "HEY! look at his eyes, and just love him" I'm just seventeen and so broken already. I've been an introvert for the past two years he was the only person in my life but now he's not going to be anymore. no matter what. I just can't let him back. Because I didn't expected to be hurt by him at least. Shakespeare said it "Expectations always hurt" I should've listened to the old man. Regrets.
I guess there's only one thing left for me to do. Live the life I've been living "happily" and awkwardly with the difference of not having him in my life, reach the Aim Planned, and dgaf 'bout his existence. I just hope I make it through.
A little tip: Never love someone too deeply, It'll hurt beyond your expectations.
Yours.
xo
