An Honest Kiss

Chapter 11

When they arrived back at the WAMM site that evening Rachel was exhausted.  She and Jack had played nice all day, but she could tell he as on the edge of a massive release of his temper.

Rachel had only seen him lose his temper once and it had been an intimidating sight. The doctors had decided that there was nothing more they could do for her father, and Jack had gone over the edge.  Rachel and the doctors had both known why. It wasn't their ability or inability to help her father, it was that he was unable to save his friend and that he had to watch him suffer. He had been mad at the world that day, and Rachel had had to be the strong one as he heaped abuse at her and the doctors. Afterwards he had apologized and looked mortified that he had lost control. Rachel had just been glad that she had been able to be there for him, knowing that he didn't mean a word of it. She had seen Jack angry plenty of times but never as bad as that day since he generally was good at holding his temper.

The van ride had been tense. Jack had driven and Rachel had sat in the very back.

The memory of Jack's touch and kisses were so fresh and strong and she knew it would be the last time that they made love so she kept reliving every moment in hopes that it would imprint on her memory, and she would always be able to recall the feel of his touch and the smell of his skin.

He had shaved and his jaw remained ridged, he was also wearing his dark sunglasses so what he was thinking was a mystery to her.

They had stopped for lunch at a friends, and Jack had been his usual charming self, as if he hadn't a care in the world, and for the first time she was aware of what a really good actor he was.  It was as if he was able to lock all other feelings away and not even experience them. It was some serious mental willpower. What didn't make sense to her was why he was so angry.  He should be relieved that she had understood what he wanted. The only thing Rachel could think of was he still felt guilt.

Rachel had decided to wait a few days, until after Bob and Ava had left, to hand in her resignation.  She wasn't sure if it would be the catalyst that would send him over the edge, but she wasn't going to take any chances since Ava had made it clear that any help she might give WAMM was dependent upon her and Jack working out their issues.

She was set to go back on night duty the next evening so as soon as the van stopped she was out of it like a shot, grabbing her bag and heading towards her room and a hot shower then a nap. Having not slept the night before she was starting to feel the effects. Although two nights in Jack's arms would make it hard to lay in a cold bed alone, but she should not have worried because as soon as her head hit the pillow she was out like a light.

Rachel slept the clock around.  When she woke the next morning the sun was just starting to rise. It was too early to eat, so she got another shower then dressed and sat on her bed not thinking about much. The decision had been made and a sort of numbness had settled over her making her calm.

When Addie woke and looked at her she sat up in alarm. "What is it, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, just waiting for breakfast." Rachel gave a smile which must have passed muster because Addie relaxed back against the wall yawning.

"I thought you would have caught up with Jack."

"No, there is no reason to. Besides, you need to catch me up on everything I missed around here."

"Nothing much, most of the gossip was about you."

"That's disappointing."

"Depends which gossip you listen to." Addie was silent for a minute. "How is Paul?" she asked in a burst as she jumped up from her bed and started to gather her things to get dressed.