Lady of Silences

The last writings of Tevos

WARNING: this snippet contains some spoilers for the main story. The protagonists find this document at the climax of the book, revealing some very important history. Just a warning, in case you'd rather discover this information at that same time as the characters. I include it here for fun and for feedback.

The last writings of Tevos, Rabh Alai of the pannari

Year One of the Hegira

I am not to be trusted, that much is clear. I fear She has already taken too much control. My thoughts are not my own, more than not. There are times when I can no longer discern the difference between Her will and mine. But for now, in the darkness of this vault, I feel her presence lessen and wane. Perhaps she takes her own power for granted. Regardless, I will endeavor to write down as much of it as I can, while her attention is elsewhere.

Brother, I beg you, take heed. Do not trust your own memories, for we have all been deceived. Do you remember His name? It sits on the tip of my tongue, as if I can taste it, and yet I cannot bring it to voice. She has erased His name, His memory, His grace. I feel that once He loved us, as we assume She does. Once, He guided me and spoke to me. But now all I hear is silence.

And yet there is a small whisper that comes to me in the moments before I sleep. It tells me that a small part of Him is still here. I have come to believe that, having been so long in Her favor, I must have gained some immunity to her power. She believes that I am Hers alone, and thus takes her influence for granted. The part of Him that is left has slipped through the cracks of Her hubris.

His words fill me with fear, dear brother. He tells of a time before our flight, when He and She guided us together; twin Gods in perfect harmony. He whispers that the calamities we escaped were not simple misfortune nor acts of capricious nature. He tells of her jealousy, and how she sought to destroy and supplant her own brother. But how can one unmake a God? The very thought makes me shiver. He pleaded with Her to stop, begged Her to find in Her heart the love She once held for Him. But the madness in Her was too great, and filled with that hatred She bound him beneath the earth and broke our world.

We remember the schism, She let us keep that memory. We recall the dying of our lands, the ravaging of our people by pestilence. We remember the hunger and death. He tells me that by binding Him, She has corrupted all She once protected. The shifting of power meant a loss of balance, and this instability has cost us our peace, our lives. So She bade us flee, giving me the prophecy that lies so carefully kept in the hands of the Council. I believed her lie, we all did. I believed Her intentions were to protect and guide us. That was Her second great Lie. We have all been used to serve her narcissism.

I will no longer be Her pawn. I have come here to lay my life to rest, while I still have control over my actions. I know that She will choose another, and that the Rabh that follow me will have no memories of the lands we left and the great calamities that we lived through. She is too strong for us to fight now; She remains wary that Her brother will find a way to break His bindings and come forth to fight Her. We must wait, however long is needed, until She grows complacent. She must believe that there is no one left who remembers. There will come a time when She is weak, He has assured me of this. There will come a scion of our lineage that will be capable of removing His bonds and restoring Her sanity.

I charge you now to keep this knowledge to yourself, for your own safety. If She knows what I have told you She will never allow Her brother to live. She must believe there is no memory of Him left, so that we can preserve this small piece of Him for as long as it takes for our benefactor to come. I trust that you will see this done.

I am sorry my brother, that I could not tell you this before I left. I know that you will grieve, but have peace. I am choosing to die by my own hand so that I will no longer be corrupted by her will. I leave our people in your capable hands. Counsel them to make peace with this new world and the people living there, these humans. This alliance may be the key to our preservation. I have said all I can. I will hide this message in a place only you and I know.

Be at peace, my brother. But never forget: our memories are not to be trusted.