Incubus

1. Unflattering

Twirling my limp spaghetti on my fork, I prayed to God that this date ended with a meteor crashing through the restaurant or a serial killer coming in to take me away. Anything to get me out of this terrible date my roommate Helen set me up with. This is the last time I let her set me up with a man. She has terrible vision in what she thinks is my type.

"...So that's why I ended up in marketing," Kurt finished, his eyes kind and patient, a swarm of sky blue.

"That's amazing," I said, setting my fork down on my plate. Yeah, I didn't hear a word he said. He has been talking all night and although he is handsome..if you're into the whole "Nice/hardworking" guy kind of thing--he is really the most boring person on the planet. I like my men the way I like spicy foods--surprising, interesting, and challenging.

"I like you, Jessica. You're a good listener," he complimented, his skin pale against his luscious brown hair.

I gave a tight smile. "You're sweet, Kurt."

The majority of my life I've spent working, obeying my parents, and trying to find the one thing that makes me spark. So far my desk job at work isn't quite cutting it. My dating life is even worse than my work life. The only great thing I can count on is my friendship with my roommate. Although I'm willing to reconsider it because this date is awful.

Helen always tries to set me up with the mild and workaholic type men. While she gets to date struggling musicians, BDSM freaks, and naughty professors. Shows a lot about how she feels concerning me.

I mean I'm not that vanilla. I just want a man I can make coffee for while he reads the newspaper. What's so wrong with that? All my relationships have been a bust. I'm either not enough or too much. It's a mess. Too loving, not loving enough. Snow queen or OCD queen. It has truly been an interesting journey.

Kurt paid the bill, eyeing my not even half-eaten meal that is still left on my plate. I smiled sheepishly. I didn't even touch my wine, thank goodness. I'm a terrible drunk, so terrible that I hardly ever have a time when I was drunk and something embarrassing didn't happen.

Patient, Kurt walked me out of the restaurant and to my car that is being held by valet. "I hope we can do this again. Are you free next week?" he asked, hopeful.

I sighed. And here comes the snow queen me. "No, the office will keep me very preoccupied. Thanks though, Kurt, I had a nice time. You're sweet, you know...just I am quite certain we aren't each other's types."

His eyebrows crinkled in confusion and he asked, "Why would you think that?"

Because when I look at you I see boring sex. When I see what I want, I see some naughty sex that I don't even have the name for yet. "I think I'm into girls." I winked and then slid into my car, closing the door behind me.

Throwing my keys onto my kitchen counter, I groaned at the sight of Helen in some man's lap, grinding against him. His arms that are wrapped around her are slathered in tattoos and his hair is up in a man bun. Yeah, definitely a struggling musician.

"Jessica!" Helen screamed, breaking away from the guy she is attached to on the couch. "Why are you back so early?" She cleared her throat, crawling out of the guy's lap.

"Sorry, not into the boring marketing type," I mumbled, leaning against the counter.

"This is Ashley," Helen introduced. Ashley grunted in greeting and then kissed Helen's bare shoulder.

"Um, hi." I gave a half-hearted wave.

"You were supposed to get laid, Jessica! God, how long has it been for you anyways?"