Incubus

10. God is a Woman

                  

People usually think of an addiction as something or someone you can't stop needing or desiring—and maybe it's true. People usually think that the victim can't get enough because they either can't or won't—and maybe it's true. People usually assume the only way to stop is to stop cold turkey or get help—and maybe it's true.

                But what if you're addicted to someone you can't even have when you want to have them?

                I haven't seen my demon in two weeks. Within these two weeks I've been seeing James at his place and he and I understand each other so much better than before. I told him I wanted to take things slow and he has been. He's observant and otherworldly. He's a professor I don't know why I expected anything less.

                Azura has been watching me. I haven't needed to take my vitamins or use the salve in a long time so the only thing she does is bitch at me because no matter how many times I go to see James I can't seem to remember his address. Whatever, she'll get over it.

I thought she knew James when I brought up his name and she panicked. She assured me she didn't, she was just freaking out because as a demon she can usually find anyone she wants based on their field of energy. She said my field of energy is a supremely wide range that is alluring, yet when I go to James' house, it vanishes. I told her well when I vanish know I'm at James' place, duh. She didn't like that answer very much.

Helen and my brother Collin are disgustingly infatuated with one another. I guess it's good for the both of them because they've both spent their entire lives hoeing around. It's good to see them settling down.

Something inside of me is worried that the demon doesn't want anything to do with me anymore because we got too intimate the last time. Another part of me is relieved that now I can have a healthy relationship with someone else. The last part of me worries he'll be back and if I take this leap with James, I'll truly regret it.

"You haven't answered me in ten minutes. Are you alright?" James asked, his back braced against his kitchen island.

I jumped, blinking up at him with a glass of wine in my hands. "Sorry, I've been thinking a lot about my brother and my best friend. They are dating; it's kind of weird for me." I smiled sheepishly. I wish that were my only concern. 

"Ah. Well think of it this way, Jessica. The two people you love the most found love in each other and now you'll see them all the time." James smiled beautifully and I snorted with laughter.

"Sure. Except when they are together they can't keep their hands off each other. They'll be in the honeymoon stage for thirty years at this rate."

James laughed and then set his wine glass down behind him, his face growing serious. "What stage are we in?"

I flinched. Damn, what stage are we in? "The getting-to-know-you stage." I shrugged.

"I'm quite certain I know you, Jessica." James raised an eyebrow, a sultry gleam in his eyes.

Swallowing I whispered, "Really?"

"Really." He took my glass from my shaking hands and set it on the island next to his glass.

"What's my favorite color?"

"Moss—so brown, green, yellow, earth tones mainly."

I've never told him this. What in the world? "What's my favorite book?"

"You don't like to read."

"What are my interests?"

"Motherboards, anything electronical, wine, traveling, and of course the arts."