Incubus

3. Ruin Me

Staring up at the ceiling, I contemplated my love life. I haven't had sex in ages and I haven't had sex that I've actually enjoyed. Those—let's do all of the basic sexual positions—encounters have really done something to my female libido. It has dampened it. But for whatever reason, at my brother's seminar—which by the way is extremely awkward and weird—I feel sexually enlightened again.

I'm.

On.

Fire.

I haven't felt like this since I was a hormonal teenager, and even then it was never like this. I think it has something to do with James. James looks incredible and James looks like he can do incredible things. I want James to the point of where it's killing me. Sighing, I rolled over in bed to peer at his business card. It's so late at night, I can't call him this late. You know what? What do I have to lose? I never do spontaneous or exciting things. I never try to act on my sexual gratification and maybe it's time that I do. Determined, I snatched the business card off of my nightstand and my phone, sitting up in bed to dial the number.

Oh God, I can't believe I'm doing this. What am I even going to say? Plus, he's my brother's friend. Well, my brother is going out with my friend so maybe it's only fair...

Before I could think any further on how to talk myself out of this, he answered, "Hello?"

Oh my goodness I don't know what to say! What do I say? What do I say? "Hi," I blurted out. Very original, Jessica, you fucking nailed it.

"Who is this?" he asked.

"Jessica," I said, after clearing my throat. "It's Jessica."

"Oh, Jessica, hi!" His voice changed from tired and weary to excited and very much alive. Maybe he likes me too. Or maybe he feels obligated to be nice to me because of my brother.

Holding back a sigh I said, "Sorry for calling so late I uh, I couldn't sleep and so I don't know I called you." He's going to think I'm crazy.

"No worries, I'm up reading a student's term paper on Dante's Inferno and it's pretty dull, so..." He laughed and I joined in.

Um...running out of material here. Who am I kidding? I never started with material in the first place. "Oh, sounds like busywork." What in the hell is wrong with me?"

"What is it you do for a living, Jessica? I fear I never asked."

Why does he talk like he's in an old century novel? Snorting I answered, "I'm an openpower systems architect. You know, designing new software, hardware, and solutions. I take things from early design to mass production. It's all kind of dull really."

"No, no, sounds fascinating although I'm not fully enlightened on the schematics of electronics, I admire your diversity."

God, say more big words to me.

What's wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? I've seen hot guys all my life and I mean James is not that hot. He's definitely okay. I clenched my legs together. My body says differently, clearly.

"I could uh, show you what I do sometime. Deploying codes on new platforms is quite basic really."

"Yeah? Well, it's most certainly a date."

I blushed. "Great. I'll contact you at a more desirable hour for details." I gave a nervous laugh and James naturally joined in.

"You can call me anytime, Jessica. Goodnight now."

"Goodnight," I whispered. He hung up and I groaned, leaning my head back against my pillows. This made it worse! His voice is deep and resonating. It's like a saxophone playing at a jazz concert or a violin at a symphony. I bit my lip, smiling.