Heal Me

Chapter 21

Damon stood there, staring wide-eyed at her as her words echoed in his mind:

'I'm ready, Damon... to tell you what happened to me... for you to tell me as well...'

 'for you to tell me as well...'

No, he couldn't.

Damon knew he physically couldn't: his throat was dry, his lips were closed, his vocal chords were destroyed by tears... he just couldn't tell her! He was too weak to remember how it was all his fault, how much he cried and whimpered after that dreadful day, on that rock-hard hospital bed or with the read resting against the steering wheel of his car, or in the park, or at night, alone in his room, under the protection of the darkness which was slowly but surely creeping up to his heart. Now he was numb and cold and desperate and it was all him who had caused this. Damon just could not tell Evangeline that guilt and grief were two things that haunted him and killed him a little every single day. He was now looking into her deep warm eyes which were gleaming with hope and sincerity and he just couldn't find it in his broken little heart to tell her all of that, no matter how much he wanted to find out more about her past...

"Damon..." she said his name, catching his attention. "Are you-"

"I can't." he cut her off bluntly and, turning his back to her, Damon began walking. Her eyebrows furrowed but she caught up with him and gripped his arm, right under his elbow. He stopped, but did not move to look at her.

"What do you mean?" Evangeline asked in a low, naive voice. He confused her... wasn't he the one who wanted to make this deal? And now he said he couldn't... and then walked away? She hated it when people didn't answer her questions.

"Damon!" Evangeline exclaimed with a tint of annoyance in her voice and she stepped in front of him. The Damon who held her to his warm, hard chest that evening when they climbed those stairs, the Damon who rubbed her back and kept whispering soothing things in her ear... that Damon was gone. The young man in front of Evangeline was staring back at her with a blank expression on his face, his eyes inexpressive and his lips glued together in a tight line.

"What do you mean you can't?" she asked once more, her hand still gripping his arm. Damon shrugged it off and looked away.

"I can't tell you." he stated harshly, his tone void of any emotion. Evangeline waited for him to say something else but when she saw that his reason was never going to come out of his mouth, she felt an unknown anger running through her veins. Her right palm itched to slap him across the face, but she ignored that urge and just raised her voice.

"Are you kidding me!?" she yelled so loudly that the people on the street turned their heads to look at them. Although he did not show it, Damon was obviously surprised too; he had never seen her act like this.

"A couple of days ago you were the one who insisted on this bloody deal!" Evangeline continued in the same tone. She was beyond angry, something no one had been able to make her feel, besides Damon, of course. She did not care of the strange looks people were giving her; she had to let it all out.

"You even gave me some time to think and oh, believe me, I freaking thought about it! Until last night, when some random Max called me at 2 A.M. from your phone, telling me to come and pick you up because you were wasted, until I agreed and went to that creepy pub in the middle of the night, having to wake up my mother to ask for the keys to our only car and saying that I needed to help a friend, until I saw you lying on a couch, sensed the alcohol in your breath and finally drove you home where I watched you sleep and made sure you were all okay... until all of that, I thought about it!" she paused to take a deep breath but felt tears stinging her eyes.