Amavi • sean lew

intro.

The first thing that Vanessa did when she found out that her boyfriend of two years had been cheating on her was to grab her laptop and check for an exchange program. And in two hours, she had already found her old childhood friend, Giuliana Rossi, on Facebook and she had asked her if she could move in with her for six months.

And she happily said: fuck yeah.

''This is a spur of the moment decision, Vanessa.'' her mother told her when her daughter announced that she was going to go to Italy just a week later.

''You don't even know any Italian! You haven't talked to Giuliana in years.'' Her dad implied, surprised about his daughter's announcement of moving to the other side of the world.

But it was exactly that. Vanessa needed to go somewhere in which nobody knew her, in which she didn't know anybody or anything at all. She needed to start over and Italy was it. 

She always dreamed about going to Italy, her boyfriend (or, ex) and her had planned about going there someday. But now she was going to go by herself and she was going to make sure to enjoy every single moment of it without him or anybody.

''That's so fucking cool, can I come?'' Her brother said when he heard the news after her sister interrupted him from his gaming session, she shook her head quickly ''Ugh, screw you then.''

And when she told her few college friends about it, they were all excited for her, wishing to be going to Italy as well. But she thought to herself that they obviously didn't wish to be on her shoes in that moment.

She was practically fleeing the country because her stupid ex cheated on her with some girl she didn't even know and she felt useless. If a word could define her it would be: coward. Her brain whispered this to her almost every minute that she was home but her heart washed away the bad thought with: This is good for us.

So, she believed it was. And she reminded herself about this every second that she was in the airport waiting to get into her flight, while her parents hugged and kissed her as much as they could, to make up the six months she was going to be gone.

''Everything is going to be alright, you need to chill.'' Her brother told her while placing his hands on her shoulders ''Like, yeah, you're going to a totally new place and you're gonna have a tough time making friends probably but it'll be fun!'' She laughed a genuine laugh for what seemed like years and she hugged him tightly.

After fifteen minutes, she heard her flight being announced for boarding and she knew that the clock had been started, she was starting over. So, she took the only bag that she was able to carry on hand and waved a final goodbye to her family.

And she didn't look back because she knew that if she did, everything that she had planned for herself was going to be ruined because of her fears.

It was time for Vanessa to take care of herself now.