Foreign

•2• Roots

Sweet sounds of the life I once lived in a distant past invade my body and distract me from the overwhelming feelings of transition.

Italy.

A place to which I never thought I'd return, but I'd always dreamt to.

A place of beauty, lost and found dreams, love and passion that sweeps a soul off their feet.

This was always what I wanted, yet there's a foggy blackness, a filter of unknown and uncertainty shielding me from truly reaching it.

It isn't the way I dreamt it to be.

"Nico, how much further is it?"

He laughs. "Serafina I know you haven't been back to Venice in a long time, but I thought you might remember the route! We always rode our bicycles down this path together."

I lightly punch him in the side. "When we were 5 years old nic!" he smirks and I smile as I roll my eyes.

"But seriously, we're almost there."

~

The house looks the same as I left it, it's charm and warmth radiating through the brick walls and love blooming through the flowers, flowers that were everywhere.

"SERA!" My uncle Joseph looks up from the garden he was tending to, to which what looked like my aunt Amalia was tending to as well. He runs to me, wiping dirt off of his hands onto his pockets, and picking me up into the air. "My how you've grown, my sweet. Let's get you inside yes?" I smile as he swings an arm around me and leads me towards the door. "Nico, make yourself useful and get your beautiful cousin's bags!" I laugh as Nicolas grunts and picks up my things.

The house holds so much memories of my childhood, so many dreams and fantasies. The entry room has warm candle lighting and flowers decorating every corner as they always did. "Wow, uncle Joe, did Ama do all this?"

"Actually, Nico and Trista did it yesterday."

The name strikes me, I've never heard it before. "Trista?" I say, trying not to sound rude.

"Oh yes my love. She's gotten Nico to do all sorts of things, things he doesn't always necessarily enjoy, but hey, Ama and I appreciate it!"

"Maybe I've forgotten too much since I was gone... Who's this Trista?" I ask with kind eyes, hoping to not have missed something. Joe's eyes widen, and he chuckles and pats me on the back as we sit on the sofa in the main living space. It's a huge room with windows on all sides, curtains fluttering in and out of the house exposing the view of the everlastingly beautiful Italian sea.

"Nicolas didn't tell you? Oh I swear that boy can be so foolish sometimes. Trista is Nico's new girlfriend."

Nico- a girlfriend? That's hard to imagine. When we were young we only talked of space and time and expanse of the world, adventures and dreams, and never of romance, he never seemed one to care.

"How lovely."

"She's a bit over the top for my liking." He says covering his mouth a little. I swear my uncle acts like a little kid sometimes, but his warmth and welcoming is what I need. "But, Nico can do whatever he wants. He'll learn things and then come to me so I can say I told you so." He says with a big smile.

"I heard that." Nico says, coming down the grand staircase, ruffling his hair. He sits across from us in a small armchair, and it isn't until then that I notice how much he has really grown. He's tall, extremely muscular probably from helping Uncle Joe with all he makes him do, and has a matured look to his face, and strikes me in its differentiation from the one of his youth.

Suddenly another figure sits down next to me, and puts a soft hand on my shoulder. "Serafina darling I'm so happy to see you." I turn to see my aunt Amalia's tired light blue eyes, ones filled with both love and sadness. "How are you doing, how's Carlo?" I can see the significant pain in her eyes, she feels the same as mine, and she provides another comfort to me yet at the same time draws me back to my pain. "I'm doing alright." I say with a small smile. "Giancarlo is still in school and is emailing me everyday. He seems to be doing fine." She smiles and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"He's still at that New York University yes?" Asks Joe.

"Yeah, studying business."

"I thought he was more into art?" Nico chimed in.

"He is." I say with a sad smile. He wanted to study towards a career that would bring him money, and guaranteed success, and put his own interests aside-no matter how many times I tried to talk him out of it. "He just is too afraid of failure that he chose a safer route."

"I see." Joe says. Getting up and walking towards the kitchen. "Nico why don't you take Serafina  out, introduce her to some of your new friends? Come back for dinner later, Ama and I have a few things to do this afternoon."

Nico looks over at me. "Sure, if you're up for it?"

I look down at my clothes, I'm in a pair of worn jeans and a soft blue shirt, the only clothes that didn't get burnt in the accident. The only things I brought were personal belongings, photographs and documents. "I would love to, but, I don't think I want to greet people looking this way."

Ama immediately takes my hand and we walk towards the stairs. "You will be staying in your mother's old room my love, all of her clothes from when she was young are still in the closets. Wear any of them that you like."

My mother.

"That's lovely Ama, would you show me?"

"Of course." She says with a light smile as we walk up together.

~

I stand in front of the long mirror, reflecting a vision of myself I've never seen before, one that sets me on the brink of tears, yet makes me feel connected to my mother more than ever.

I'm wearing a light yellow sundress that she once loved and wore. And it somehow makes me feel safe. My long wavy light blonde hair falls to my waistline and I twirl it tightly, wondering how long I'll need to rely on these types of things.

"Fi! Let's go!"

"Coming Nic!"

~