Adventures

Chapter 4

Connor's P.O.V

I don't like him! Connor stop telling yourself you do! Oh my god I hate my brain. I decide to play some music but Troye stops me.

    "Look." Troye says and points in the direction.

    "Oh my god." I say looking right at a deer.

    "I haven't seen one of those for a while, I am kinda getting home sick." Troye says and I don't know how to help. I have never left home, I guess I am just too damn scared. I know I am turning 18 this year and could have left 2 years ago I just didn't.

    "Hey Troye." I say without thinking.

    "Yeah?" He says and turns to me with those blue eyes. Those eyes are perfection, I wish those eyes were mine. CONNOR SERIOUSLY STOP TROYE ISN'T GAY! Or is he fuck my brain stop worrying.

    "I was wondering if you would like to see where I .. live." I skip a word. Why do i have to talk with a studder every time.

    "Umm." Troye says right after. Connor that was such a bad idea what is wrong with you.

    "You don't have to if you don't want to I understand." I say and look down. Knowing he will say no.

"Connor." Troye says and lifts my head I have to be blushing now he is so damn close.

"I will think about it." Troye says and winks and keeps walking.

That just made my heart sink. Okay I know I shouldn't say this but i am falling for Troye Sivan. The boy i just met. I can't let him know though. That would be the worst. I don't even think he is gay. My parents are not home until 6 so I have a little time to show him around the neighbourhood. Well as I like to call it the Blue Neighbourhood. Everyone in this town is either a preppy person or depressed there is no in between.

    "Shouldn't we head back Troye?" I say looking at the time .

"We could skip the next period as well." Troye says and my anxiety works into my head again, I know I shouldn't be doing this but fuck this. I need to say yes more no more no I need to live life.
"Okay sounds like fun Troye." I say pushing the thought into the back of my head. I am worried what my parents will think, will they beat me, yell at me, take my phone, my laptop i don't know i hope they don't care cause my phone and music is my life. I would have no other life if my music is gone. I don't know if I should leave. I have been thinking of it. leaving this world behind, no one likes me.

"Connor what are you thinking about?" Troye asks and I freeze.

"oh umm." I say and Troye sits down on a log and I do too.

"you can tell me you know that right. I want you to know that i will be here for you. I won't tell anyone about anything if that's what you are scared of. I promise i won't tell anyone." Troye says and I breath out. I think i need to get this out of my system.

"I promise Connor." Troye says and puts his hand on mine and my heart sinks.

"i don't know if you have ever had the feeling of being alone or not wanted but that's what i am going thru right now. I feel like no one wants me to stay on this world. Sometimes I wish i could just slip. Just slip but honestly Troye i dont have the courage to. I don't know what it is i have tried to slip i just can't. My hand won't let me. My brain won't let me slip. I don't know what to do." I say and ready to burst into tears. I won't cause i don't want to seem weak.

"Connor honestly if you leave. It seems like i have known you for so long but i have known you for like 3 hours. But i want to get to know you more, i want to know how you live your life. Dont slip for me. I know you want to cry and you can, and i know what you are thinking, and you are not weak crying makes you stronger, as i say, if you cry you are being too strong for too long, and I cry lots of times when i had to leave one of my friends back in Perth, I cried for 2 days straight. You're not weak connor and i will never judge you for being weak." Troye says and looks me in the eyes. I am listening to him but it's kinda hard to listen to him when he is looking me in the eyes. His eyes are filled with love and compassion.