Chapter Eight "Ways to Say I Love You"

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A/N Warning, long chapter.

The next morning was spent trying to figure out how we would get back home. We sat in the car bouncing ideas off of each other but none seemed to be good enough.

"How about we just call Ace," I asked twisting around to face him and his face scrunched up in thought before he nodded.

"Ok, yeah," he said getting out of the car. I opened the door and stood up stretching my legs. I didn't feel like myself, Ray was gone and I started to feel myself leaving too.

I knew that I couldn't talk about this kind of stuff with Richie, but I knew who I could talk to. I mean I could talk to Chris and that was what I probably would do, but I also wanted to talk to Gordie.

Something told me that talking to him would make me feel a whole lot better, but there was only one problem. He hated my guts.

I'm not sure why but I would ask him, I didn't know why I wanted him to like me so bad. Maybe it was because I wanted to be accepted, or maybe it was just some comfort thing I learned from my many years in Castle View. That in order to be happy people had to like you.

As messed up as that sounded I found it true, I was always seeking approval. Now that I had nobody's approval to seek, I was lost.

Well that and I was actually lost, I was in Portland, Oregon trying to find a fucking pay phone on an empty stomach.

"Wait!" I said in realization and Richie turned around "even if we find a pay phone, we still don't have money," I sighed.

"Let's just ask someone for money," he said in a duh tone and I looked at him like he had two heads.

"You can't just ask people for money, that's rude," I said in the same tone of voice he did.

"Sure you can," he started walking away and I sighed in frustration.

"Do you really think anyone will give you money?" I asked trying to reason with him and he nodded.

"Yeah, they will if you ask," my eyes widened and I shook my head.

"No way, I'm not doing that," I said and stopped walking.

"Oh I guess you will enjoy your new home, Portland," he said and I groaned.

"Fine, but you will have to deal with Ace then. He won't be too thrilled to drive four hours here and back to get us," I said then thought about something else "wait," I stopped him and he sighed.

"What the fuck is it now, Connie?" he asked angrily.

I ignored his asshole attitude "why don't we just ask for money and then get gas?" I asked and he looked at me for a second.

"Ok," he said walking away. What the hell is wrong with him, and why was he acting like an assbag.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked and he glared at me.

"None of your fucking business," he said and continued to walk.

"Just tell me, stop acting like such a pussy," I asked using Teddy's choice of wording things.

"You really want to know," he asked furiously and I nodded.

He stopped walking and lashed out on me "well we're four fucking hours away from Castle Rock, your brothers dead, and I'm so confused," he shouted and I cringed a little.

"Confused about what?" I asked calmly despite his yelling. He just shook his head and looked away.

"Never mind," he said and tried to walk away but I caught his shoulder.

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