Chimichangas vs Tacos [zouis/zarry]

Chapter 2

Louis POV

"Stop watching me, Gerald! You perv...." I said to my stuffed unicorn, as I wanked off.

It was the morning, and while Al, my blind roommate, was cooking breakfast, I decided I needed a little 'release'.

Now usually, I'd wank off at night, but I had a rough night yesterday. You know, fighting crime like the badass I am.

Anyway, once I got done, I casually strolled out of my room, into the IKEA filled living room.

"Al! Darling, you're gonna burn yourself." I said, walking into the kitchen. Al was making scrambled eggs on the stove.

"Hey now, Child! I may be blind, but I'm perfectly capable of mak- Ouch!" Blind Al, grumbled, before burning herself slightly.

"How about I do the cooking, you go and work on your new IKEA shelf." I said, taking her spot at the stove.

"Let me guess..in a few minutes your gonna tell me that I'm gonna hurt myself with the shelf?" Al said, limping into the living room.

"Probably cause you will, you old hag." I mumbled, chuckling to myself. God, I crack myself up sometimes..

I cooked up the scrambled eggs, and separated them evenly on two plates.

"Oh Al! The eggs are ready!" I yelled, heading to the living room.

"Al! You forgot the damn screws." I said, rolling my eyes. She was technically stacking wood on top of wood.

"I think you're missing the screws in your head also.." I mumbled.

"How about you put it together then?" Al asked, smiling widely. "No way. I'm your roommate, not your personal handy man." I replied.

"Please!"

"No!"

"Please!"

"Fuck off!"

"Please!"

"You bitch!"

"Please!"

"Fine, you twisted my arm you persuasive little witch." I said, before putting the shelf together.

***

After I put together Al's shelf, and ate, I turned on the news.

"Breaking news! There is a robbery down at the city bank! Cops are on their way now, but will they get there in time?" The news woman said.

"Of course they won't, but I will! Hear that Al?! Deadpool is coming for you, bitches!" I said to the TV.

I quickly skipped to my room, and went into my closet. I got out my red suit, and my all my guns.

I laid all my guns out, and looked at them. "Which gun does daddy wanna take with him?" I asked myself.

I ended up picking a machine gun, and two pistol guns. "Come to papa!" I said.

I quickly got dressed. Struggling a bit with getting the suit over my, very beautiful, ass.

I grabbed my swords, and my guns, and I was ready to go.

"Who's car are you taking?" Al said from her room, amused. She know that I don't have a car.. That would be a good investment.

"Shit. Thanks for ruining my vibe, Al!" I decided to call my getaway cab. I know, pretty pathetic.

I can't help it that I spend my money on lube and ammo.

***

"Jonathan! To the bank!" I said hopping into the cab.