As I Am

Chapter Twenty-Eight

A/N: Dedicated to the above for the gorgeous cover on the side :) Also, a chapter and epilogue will be posted tomorrow!

          Twenty-Eight

            “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

            I feel like I did on the stage when all eyes were on me. Hadley, Evan and I had only walked in the doorway when a woman I don’t recognize and a small girl, no older than seven, bombard me in the foyer with my parents.

            My mother is in no position to be asking me any favors after the stunt she pulled, and even though I feel like I did only hours ago, this time I’m not sad. This time I’m angry.

            I’m about to storm away, glaring at my mother’s avoiding eyes when the little girl with dirty blonde hair steps forward. Her pink dress sways as she approaches me and stops a few feet away.

            “Hi, Bam,” she says quietly. She looks nervous as she clutches a copy of my mother’s new book in her small hands. “I’m Elise. Would it be okay if I could talk to you?”

            Without knowing what to say, the little girl takes me hand and leads me into the living room, away from her mother and my parents and my friends. I hear them walk into the kitchen as we sit down on the plush couch beside each other, close enough that someone might mistake us as sisters.

            All my anger diminishes as I look into her eyes and see that there’s something there I recognize, but can’t place. Something about them is so familiar that my heart aches.

            “Your mom gave mine an advanced copy of her book, and I wanted to know if you would sign it.”

            I’m speechless as I stare at her, unknowing of what to say.

            “But first I wanted to tell you why.” She takes my hand and sets my book down, and I wonder how someone so mature and polite can be only seven years old. “I have cancer.” My hand trembles at how surely she says the word. “I am going to die.”

            Suddenly I’m gripping her hand so hard that I’m scared I’m going to break it. Tears are threatening my eyes at how easily she says this, at how she’s okay with leaving everything behind.

            “Your mom gave me her book in hopes to help my family, and not only that, it helped me. My mom would read me a bit every night before bed about your life and what you’ve been going through. And I was scared. Scared that my parents would react like you and would be sad their entire lives. But then she read me the end.”

            She takes her hand away from mine and I ignore the urge to reach for it back. Opening the book, Elise flips the pages to the very last one and holds it out to me. “Can you read me the very last line?”

            The book shakes in my hands as I take it for her. I take a deep breath. “And even though this journey is hard, and even though I miss him, I know that maybe not now, and maybe not tomorrow, but eventually, I’m going to be okay.”

            Tears spill over my eyes as she closes the book in my hands. “I know not to be scared for what my parents will do after,” she whispers. After. “I know that they’re going to be okay.”

            She hands me a pen from a pocket in her dress. It’s sparkly and pink, and I smile at the fact that such a mature little girl can still be a child.

            You are the strongest person I have ever met

            Love, Bam

            Elise grins and takes back the book, squealing as she slides off the couch. She’s running to the kitchen before I can turn around, and I hear her ask her mother what it says. When she tells her, Elise makes another sound of excitement.

            I’m still not okay with the book, and I might be upset with my mom for a while, but knowing that this book – my life – has helped Elise and her family, gives me hope. Maybe it can help others, too. And maybe right now I’m not okay. But eventually, I will be.