Trio (A Sword Art Online Fanfic) ✔

Chapter Twenty-One

It was snowing.

It was one of the only things I could focus on as I looked out the window silently. Rikimaru was in the kitchen behind me, banging around in the cabinets.

I wasn't sure what he was trying to find, but I was getting irritated in the meantime. I clenched my fists, leaning my forehead against the cold glass.

The snow seemed too beautiful for how I was feeling.

I knew I needed to get help for how I was feeling, but I couldn't seem to find the motivation. The racket in the kitchen grew louder.

I knocked my head against the window, closing my eyes tightly. I tried to block out the sounds, but when the noise grew louder once again, I snapped.

I leaped up from my seat, growling under my breath. I stormed my way to the kitchen, a glare on my face when I stepped past the doorway.

"Can you shut the hell up?" I snapped, "I mean, what exactly are you trying to make that requires so much noise?!"

He turned to look at me, with a shocked expression on his face. I felt a twinge of guilt, but I pushed it away, keeping the glare on my face. Rikimaru set down the bowl and spoon he had been holding.

The kitchen was an absolute mess. I glared around, noticing the random piles of flour and a couple smashed eggs on the ground. Various messy bowls and spoons covered our counters, and something was on top of the oven, bubbling violently.

"Why are you so damn loud?" I demanded, whirling to look at him once more.

He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Harumi, I think you need to relax a bit."

An odd shrieking noise bubbled up from my throat as I looked at him in disbelief. He didn't relax his stance, as if he would have to fight something any second. And, with the way this was heading, he might have to.

"Did...Did you really just tell me to relax?"

"You've been tense ever since that stupid tournament." He told me, "You need to take a break and just relax."

"And how, exactly, am I supposed to do that when you are making so much noise?!" I retorted.

"Harumi--"

"I'm going for a walk." I muttered angrily, storming into the hallway to snatch my jacket from the hook by the door.

I raced out the door, slamming it loudly behind me. I tightened the jacket around me, the snow falling thickly around me.

As soon as I was out of the apartment, I felt regret. I knew I shouldn't have snapped at Rikimaru. It wasn't his fault. But I also knew I couldn't stay in that apartment another second at the moment.

I would just have to make it up to him later.

I shook my head and continued trudging my way through the snow. It was bitterly cold, and my toes were freezing.

As I walked, I thought about my actions lately. I don't know if it was the cold, or my remorse about yelling at Rikimaru, but I had never been more sure of anything in my life: I needed help.

I remembered at the beginning of Sword Art Online, when I thought I could do anything alone.

I thought I was the perfect solo player.

The first time I had thought I might not be, was when Kirito made the speech after we had defeated the very first boss.

"You can become powerful here on your own. But if the day comes when someone you trust invites you to join a guild, don't turn it down, 'cause there're limits to what a solo player can do."

I guess I had finally reached my limit.

I had gone all this time, believing I wasn't a solo player, but still acting like one either way.

All this time, I had always trusted my word above everyone else's; my choices above theirs. But finally, it has come back to bite me in the ass.

All I needed now was company, but I had gone so long believing I didn't need it, that I had pushed everyone away.

I had yelled at Rikimaru, when I should have been thankful that he was even here with me at all. I should have been making the most of everyday with him.

But instead, I yelled at him and pushed him away and lied about what had happened in GGO.

After Kirito had cleared SAO, the rest of us were forced to sit around and wait as the rest of the world collapsed and faded around us.

I remember feeling so guilty that I hadn't treated Rikimaru with the respect he had deserved.

And yet, here I was doing the exact same thing.

I paused in the snow, looking up at the cloudy sky. All I could see were the clouds and the snow falling.

It felt lonely.

Just like me.

I shook my head. I refused to believe I was beyond hope. I promise myself that I will talk to Rikimaru.

But first, I need to do one more thing.

I steeled myself, and began walking in a new direction. I picked up my pace now that I had a destination in mind.

I berated myself as I continued on my way.

I knew I was acting foolish right now and what I was doing was probably incredibly stupid, but I still felt I needed to do it.

And, I feared, he could be the only one to help me through this at the moment.

Finally I reached my destination and clenched my fists, before walking in. After a couple of obstacles, I entered the room, glaring at his figure in the corner.

Nothing was said for a minute, and we both just watched each other cautiously.

Finally he climbed to his feet. As he began walking towards me, I noticed how haggard and weary he looked.

"Well, well, well. Did you finally get tired of my dearest brother and come looking for a real man?"

I gulped, blinking slowly.

"Tenma."