Our Little Lie (Complete)

NINETEEN

D: Favor?

Do I have a choice? Stop asking and just say what you want.

D: Cristen Harcet, tell her that Josh said she looks like an old cat lady or something like that.

That it?

D: yes.

•••

I get ready for school in a rush. My alarm decided not to work so I didn't get to take a shower. So I brush out my soggy brown and blonde hair and braid it to look decent at some certain angles with natural lighting maybe.

You know those mornings that just feel peaceful and perfect like a sneak peek for the rest of the day? Well that's how today feels as I drive through the autumn trees. The school doesn't look as big and scary today. The doors to the front swallow me in and the obvious temperature change hits me like a warm blanket.

"Hey Lys!" Lena's voice booms in my ear and I turn to see her running through the doors after me. "I need some help."

"What is it?"

"I told Jill that I would help her find a case to use for her fake trial in GT. But nothing's interesting in this school," she whines.

"Uuuuummmm," I think,"Oh! Well this might be too much."

"What is it?"

"She could do a case in Audrey's suicide," I say knowing it's a stretch.

"Yeah that might be a little much."

"I know, that's why I didn't want to say it."

We drag our heavy feet and backpacks to our lockers. I somehow manage to key in my locker combination with my tired mind and grab my things.

I would say the day goes on as it always does. But it doesn't. Tyler keeps looking at me as if to try and tell me something. But I can't figure it out.

Finally 4th period math comes and Tyler rushes towards me. "I need to show you something," he says in a deep, quiet voice.

"What? How urgent?"

"Pretty urgent," he looks around nervously. "Let's get away for lunch."

I nod and the teacher begins to write the daily objective on the board. It's kind of a signal to sit down, so I do. I can't focus on the work in front of me. The numbers don't mean anything, all I can register are weird squiggly things. My pencil refuses to do anything useful, and my hand feels heavy. What could be so important that it has Tyler all worked up? He's always so care free and calm, this can't be good.

The bell to end the class rings after many failed attempts to write anything down. I tuck the paper into my binder and rush to my locker.

"Hey," he says behind me.

"Hey, where are we going?"

"Does Chick-fil-a sound good?"

"Yeah let's go," I stand up and we both speed walk out of the door. We go to the oh so beautiful Chick-fil-a and order at the drive through. Then we grab our food and Tyler parks in the parking lot.

"Why didn't we just go inside?"

"Trust me, we can't."

"Alright," I say awkwardly,"What is it?"

"After I left your house, I went to that burger place by the mall and Lena and Stephen were sitting behind me and I was listening to them. Things were getting strange so I listened."

"What did they say?"

"You should hear for yourself," he says and pulls out his phone. He opens voice memos and presses play on the most recent one.

"Lena I'm not kidding. This is really important."

"Fine, what is it?"

"I haven't told you this yet because it could hurt so many people."

"Just say it."

"Do you remember Audrey's party the night before she left or died."

"Yeah, why?"

Someone spiked the punch and Elyssa was acting all weird. She started flirting with me and I told her that neither of us were single. But she didn't care. She started kissing me randomly and I told her to stop, but she wouldn't then she slowly lured me upstairs. I didn't want to hurt her so I just went along with it and was going to help her realize what she was doing once we got up there."

"Oh God."

"I know, then she started aggressively kissing me and pulling on my shirt. But I didn't budge. Then she started crying with frustration and saying things like,'It was always you,' or 'I'm only dating Damien to get closer to you.' And I just freaked out and snapped at her. So she gave me one last intense kiss and then left."

"No Elyssa wouldn't do that."

"That's what I thought."

"No. There's no way."

Tyler stops the recording. "They talk about other things after that."

My insides feel hot. A weakness paralyzes my arms and legs then my stomach, then my chest, and then finally my head until I can't think straight. The world goes blurry like a rain covered window and I feel the wet sting of a teardrop before I realize I'm crying.

Now I've done it. I waited too long and now it's all gone. Lena, Stephen, Damien, my reputation, everything. I should have said something earlier, then I could say my side to listening ears. But now no one will believe me, who believes a cheater?

Oh God. "Tyler, Stephen and I are done. Damien and I will be done soon and I- I still can't be with you. Then they'll know I've been cheating on both of them and no one will talk to me and-"

"Shhhhhhh," he whispers and pulls me in. I sob into his soft jacket as he holds me with one arm and brushes a hand through my hair with the other. "It'll be alright."

But he's wrong. It won't be alright. I was stupid to think it would. I was stupid to think our little lie would last. I was stupid to think I could have everything I wanted and not hurt anyone. I was stupid to think we could be together.

Because like I said long ago when the beautiful lies had me blind, everything has its price. Nothing is free, not even love.