hard to talk

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It's hard to talk when you want to kill yourself.
That's above and beyond everything else.
And it's not a mental complaint - it's it's a physical thing, like it's physically hard to open your mouth and make words come out.
They don't come out smooth and in conjunction with your brain the way normal people's words do; they come out in chunks as if from a crushed ice dispenser; you stumble as they gather behind you lower lip.
So you just keep quiet.

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