Summer Shade ➳ Larry

Chapter fifteen

[ Not edited. I've looked over this dozens of times but I'm too tired to find any mistakes.

And don't flip out about the ending of this chapter. Everything is not what it seems.

NEXT UPDATE BY THE 23rd xx ]



(Harry's POV)

Living without Louis here is proving to be difficult. At first, it wasn't so bad. I'd call him whenever I needed to hear his voice or Skype him if I wanted to see his face. But just recently, it's been a struggle. He's been so consumed with his internship that he barely has time to pick up the phone, and by the time he gets back to his apartment in the evening, he's already too tired to keep a real conversation going.

Sometimes I'll get these random spurts of sadness when I think about him. I'm always craving the touch of his skin and the feeling of his lips against mine. Whenever we video chat, I want to reach through the screen and caress his cheek and just touch him. I know he feels the same way, he tells me that he does, but he's so dedicated to his job that I can't help but have lingering doubts.

Louis's been gone for nearly three weeks now, but it seems like forever. I miss him and more and more with each passing day. It's not the same here without him. As cliche as it sounds, he was the light of my life; my sunshine . . . but now he's gone. He took all the light with him, and now I feel like I'm lost in the midst of the darkness.

I know I'm overreacting. He's not dead. He's just not living here. It's not even that big of a deal, but what can I say? I'm in love, and Louis's like a drug-- my addiction.

Liam and Niall have tried to cheer me up. They come over to see me often and I appreciate it but it doesn't help. In fact, it does the opposite. Whenever I see Niall and Liam kiss or cuddle it reminds me that I can't do that with Louis. I'm unable to do those "normal" couple things with my boyfriend, and it's not fair.

Mum has tried to get me out of the house several times, and so has Jenna, but I can't. There's really nothing to do. My father's been grumpier than usual lately. He's always complaining about my laziness. I can't help it. There's nothing to do without Louis here. Literally the highlight of my days are talking to Louis over the phone.

I sound like a girl. God help me.

And now I'm in my bedroom watching a football match, which I'm really not paying attention to. I'm lost in my thoughts because it's already 5 o'clock in the afternoon and Louis hadn't texted me or called me all day. What if he doesn't care . . .

Okay, maybe I'm being a tad selfish. This is his dream and he's busy, I get that, but can't he just take thirty seconds out of his hectic schedule to text me? Just a cute little I miss you would be sufficient.

Is that too much to ask?

Almost one hour later, I get the call I've been waiting for. I smile at the sight of my boyfriend's name lit up on the display of my mobile. I slide my thumb over the screen answer. I hold it up to my ear and grin ear-to-ear.

"Ello love," I say cheerfully.

"Hi," Louis breathes, his voice shaking. He sounds . . . off, but I can't quite pin point it. He sounds hoarse and rough.

"Hey," I sit up in my bed. "Are you sick?"

"Not quite-- oh, fuck," he replies. His breathing is sped up and I can hear it muffling the speaker.

I pause, "Louis, what's going on? Are you okay?"

[ Explicit content. ]

Louis moans. He bloody moans! A sense of realization sweeps over my body and I feel a sizzle of arousal in the pit of my stomach. My mind spins in circles as I listen to his heavy breathing.

I struggle to get the words out. "Are you--"

"Fuck, Harry, ug-ugh." Louis's words shake violently. "Got my fingers inside myself and . . . oh."

I freeze and nearly choke on air as I digest what he just said. The image flashes though my brain. Louis's slim fingers up inside himself, desperately thrusting them in and out like a dirty little slut. Getting himself off just with his fingers. For fuck's sake . . . I feel my trousers tighten automatically.

"Really?" I ask, swallowing thickly.

"Yeah, god, I miss you and-- oh," he replies. He's panting frantically and I feel my body become hot and bothered.

"Where are you?" I wonder eagerly. My hand subconsciously finds its way to my semi-hard and I start palming myself through my trousers.

"At work, in a bathroom," comes Louis's breathless reply. "I just miss you so much and . . . fuck."

My mind paints a vivid image of Louis pressed up against a bathroom stall, fucking himself on his fingers. I'm fully hard now and god, it's so painful.

"Haz," Louis says. "Touch yourself."

I gulp and use my free hand to quickly unbutton my pants and unzip them, then push them down a little bit. My head is swarming and my stomach is twisting in need and want and desire. I spit in my hand before wrapping it around my now throbbing length, pumping slowly at first. I moan into the phone and I hear Louis whimper.

"Slow," Louis pants, his voice demanding.

"I know."

"I just-- fuck-- miss you so much. Want to feel you."

"I miss you too," I admit. I stroke myself faster.

"Couldn't wait to get back to my apartment," Louis continues. "Was so horny. Miss you so much."

I groan and buck my hips up into my fist, lifting my bum off from the mattress. Louis lets out a shaky sigh and I continue to pump my hard length. I pinched my eyes shut and ran the image through my head. He was so horny that he couldn't wait? That he had to get himself off during work hours?

"Curl your fingers," I instruct cautiously.

Louis hisses and I know he followed my instructions. I moan and stoke faster, frantically pumping my needy and leaky cock. I can tell that Louis is nearing his climax because he's letting out gentle uh's and oh's under his breath.

I move my thumb over the head of my cock and brush over it lightly. I feel a moan travel up my throat and escape past my lips. Louis whimpers again. He knows I love it when he whimpers.

"So close," Louis pants.

"Me too," I breathe, and it's true. I feel like my body is going to explode and, god, I want to touch Louis so bad. I want to kiss him. I want to physically be with him.

"Wish I could fuck you," I say, the words slipping out.

I hear Louis moan. "Wish I could ride you."

I stoke myself faster again, moving the speed up. It's hard to keep the phone steady and pump myself at the same time, but somehow I manage. This is just so thrilling and exciting and-- damn.

Louis moans. "Gonna come," he mutters. The phone rustles a bit and I can tell he has it pressed between his shoulder and his ear now.

"Are you touching yourself?"

"Yes," Louis hisses out. He gasps. "But you do it so much better and-- shit, you've got such nice hands."

I moan. "You're so beautiful. So perfect. I love you," I praise.

"L-love you too," he sighs. "Harry--oh, shit, uh, fuck."

I imagine him coming, pinching his eyes shut like he does, and I just lose it. He cries out desperately and I listen to him as he rides out his orgasm. I soon come as well, shooting my load into my hand.

I breathe deeply and try to catch my breath. My heart is thudding out of my chest and I can hear Louis panting. I gulp and relax into my bed, eyes darting up to the ceiling.

"Thank you." Louis's voice is so sweet and caring that my heart might burst.

I grin. "You're welcome," I reply, not actually sure why he's thanking me. If anything I should be thanking him for one of the best orgasms I've ever experienced.

"I- I'm sorry I haven't called. I've been so busy and--"

"Louis," I interrupt, and his voice stops. "Don't apologize. It's okay."

"Do you hate me?"

"No. Of course not. I love you more than anything in the world."

He sighs, "I love you, too. I'll call you more often, I promise." I hear a few voices in the background and Louis's breath hitches. "I gotta get back to work. I'll Skype you when I get home, alright?"

"Okay," I say, a bit disappointed.

Louis squeaks, "You sound mad."

I pause. "I'm not mad. I just miss you."

He sighs in relief. "I miss you more. I'll be home in a few weeks, okay?"

"I'm counting the days."

"So am I," he breathes. "Bye. I love you."

We say those three little words a lot, I've realized, but I never get tired of hearing him say it, and I know that he feels the same way. He told me a few months ago that he loves it when I whisper it into his ear while we're cuddling, or just in random places in public. He's so damn cute.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

Louis giggles, "I love it when you call me that."

"I know," I admit. "It makes you blush and I love it when you do that."

"I'm blushing right now," he tells me.

"You are?"

He scoffs, "I just had phone sex with my boyfriend in a bathroom stall at my workplace . . . of course I'm blushing."

I smile, imagining his face all red and flushed. There's suddenly a voice in the background. Louis sighs and grumbles something that I can't understand.

"I'm sorry-- I have to go. Bye."

He hangs up and I frown as I pull the phone away from my ear. I set it down on my nightstand and button back up my trousers and continue watching the football match. Of course, now it's difficult to concentrate, because I keep thinking about Louis fingering himself.

Damn him.



* * *



I'm casually browsing over Twitter a few hours later when I get an alert saying that Louis is requesting a video chat. I smile immediately and hover my mouse over the green accept button and click. Louis's face slowly starts to make its way onto my screen. It's fuzzy, mainly because his web cam is a piece of shit, but I can see him and that's all that matters.

His apartment is dim but I can still make out his facial features. I notice his icy blue eyes and the fringe that hovers just above his eyebrows. What startles me are the dark circles underneath his eyes from lack of sleep. I also notice how exhausted he looks right now. His elbows are propped up on a desk and his head is drooping a bit. I can tell he's sleepy and sleepy Louis is my favorite kind of Louis.

"You kept your promise," I muse, referring to earlier when he said he'd Skype me tonight.

He nods, "I did."

"You tired?" I ask.

"Extremely," he hums.

I bite my lip, "If you're really want to, you can go to sleep. I don't mind--"

"No," he quickly interrupts. "There's something I need to tell you, actually."

I raise an eyebrow curiously. "What is it?"

Louis frowns and I feel my stomach flip, like heavy bricks were dropped in my chest. What if he cheated on me? Oh my god--

"I didn't cheat on you, if that's what your thinking," he chuckles, and I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding in. He always knows what I'm thinking. It's one of the billion reasons that I love him.

"Okay," I mutter. But then another question strikes me. "So what is it?"

"Well, I talked to Natalie, my boss, today."

"And . . .?"

Louis pauses. "She, um, well . . . she offered me a full time job."

I freeze and let his words filter through my brain. Full time? My heart starts beating erratically.

"Y-you said no, right?" I ask, my eyes widening.

Louis gulps, "Not yet. I- I don't know. You want me to say no?" His voice squeaks and, great, now I'm the bad guy.

"But that means you'd live there, like, permanently," I point out.

"I know."

"And you don't care?" I ask breathlessly.

"Of course I do," Louis says, shaking his head as if it was obvious. "That's why I'm talking to you about it."

"But you're considering it."

He sighs dramatically and rolls his eyes. "Please, Harry, not this again."

"What again?" I demand.

"You're acting just like you did when you found out I got offered the internship. You don't even listen to what I'm saying. You just get mad."

"But this is more than an internship. This is a full time job," I rebuttal.

"It is," he confirms with a short nod. "And it's a big decision. That's why I thought we could talk this through calmly but clearly not."

"Can you blame me? You're acting as if you wouldn't even miss me if you permanently stayed there in London," I accuse. How can he be so calm about this?

"Of course I'd miss you," he promises.

"You're not acting like it."

"Harry, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I wasn't going to decline it without at least talking to you about it first," Louis explains, his voice rising.

"I thought you said you missed me. I thought you said you couldn't wait to see me again," I say.

"And I mean it. Look, Harry, I want this job, but I want you as well. I wish there was some way you could come live with me--"

"Right," I scoff, interrupting him. "My father would absolutely love that idea." My voice is littered in sarcasm.

"Fucking hell, Harry, can you stop being such a child?" Louis yells, his voice suddenly sounding harsh and stern. I pause and bite my lip, watching his face turn red with rage. I sink back into my chair.

"I just can't believe you're considering leaving me forever," I say to break the silence. Louis slumps his shoulders and freezes. He parts his lips and then closes them, as if he's trying to find the right words to say.

"Before I even met you this has been my dream," he points out with a gentle sigh at the end.

I frown, "I know. I'm so proud of you."

"Then act like it," Louis huffs, crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly.

My heart feels like it's shattering into a million pieces. Part of me is happy for him, but the majority of me is upset that he doesn't care. He doesn't care if he went months without seeing me.

"I just . . . I want you to have the job but I don't at the same time. It's to far away, babe. I can't be without you," I say.

"So what? You want to break up?"

I immediately shake my head. "No! Of course not! No, god, no. I love you so much. I love you. No. Breaking up is the last thing I want." I feel tears start to build up in my eyes at the very thought of losing him.

"Then what do you suggest we do?"

"Honestly?" I ask cautiously. He nods. "Okay, well, I want you to come home."

"Home?"

"Yeah, back here in Doncaster," I say, fiddling with my hands to avoid him. I don't want to see his reaction. I hate it when he's mad at me.

"That's really selfish of you, Harry. Really selfish," comes Louis's reply.

My heart is now pounding out of my chest, beating so hard that I think it might explode. I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my life.

"I'm selfish?" I question. "Me? How about you? You'd leave me? You don't even care what I think! You don't care about leaving me or what it'd do to me."

"For fuck's sake, Harry, of course I care! That's why I'm talking to you right now!" Lou shouts angrily. He slams his fist down on the desk that he's seated at and I jump a little, completely startled and immediately feel guilty for saying that.

"I'm sorry," I try to apologize.

"Stop." He holds up his hands and shakes his head. "We both need to cool down. We'll discuss this later."

And with that, I see him reaching up. He slams his laptop shut. The last thing I hear is a thud and then my screen goes black and I can no longer see nor hear him.

I immediately fist my curls into my hands, groaning in frustration. I'm so, so angry. I'm just swept over in complete rage. What Louis said hurt me. It's like he doesn't even give two shits about me. Like I don't even matter to him.

And it just hurts because I love him so much.

I throw my head into my hands and a feel a couple tears build up in my eyes. I wipe them away and sniffle, refusing to cry. I don't want to.

"Harry." I hear a soft, familiar voice behind me.

I spin around and am startled to see Drew standing there. I gulp. I haven't seen him a while. I was starting to think that maybe he left and went back to his mum's house. Apparently I was wrong, because he's here, in the flesh. His dirty blond hair is swept to the side and he's clad in only a tight t-shirt and some skinny jeans. I have to admit, he looks good.

"How'd you get in here?" I ask, the thought suddenly occurring to me.

Drew gestures to the window. "I climbed," he explains.

I can't help but laugh at the thought. Back when we were younger and dating, he used to come up through the window to see me. There's a tree just outside my window with perfect branches for climbing.

"How long have you been here?" I wonder.

He shrugs, "A couple minutes. I listened to your video chat conversation with Louis. I was out on the tree and came in here when I heard you crying."

Wow, creepy much? My breath shakes and I suddenly feel uncomfortable. He gives me this vibe that makes me on edge and I can't explain it.

"You were stalking me?" I ask finally, swallowing my nerves.

"More like observing," Drew says and then winks.

"So you heard what Louis said?" I say, changing the subject to relieve the awkward tension in the air.

"I did," he confirms. "That was rough."

"You agree with me? That he should decline the offer?" I ask.

He nods, "I agree with you one hundred percent."

"Thanks." I bite my lip. I have to admit, it's nice having someone agreeing with me for once.

"Y'know what?" Drew says, stepping closer, and I take a step back and raise an eyebrow.

"What?" I ask vigilantly.

"Louis doesn't understand you. He doesn't care about you. He doesn't deserve you," he continues. He walks closer until my backside is pressed against the wall. My breathing speeds up as he steps in closer, so our chests are together. Why aren't I pushing him away? Why am I letting him so close?

"Drew," I breathe. "Stop." It comes out like a question.

"Your voice says no but your hands say yes," he smirks. He gestures to my hands, which have somehow found their way to his hips. Wait, when did that happen? Why am I doing this?

"Stop," I repeat, nudging him away, but he stays put. My throat tightens and he stares into my eyes. His pupils are dilated and he's biting his lip, digging his teeth into the pink skin.

"Why, Harry? Why should I stop?" he taunts.

"Because I- I have a boyfriend and I love him--"

"But Louis doesn't love you," Drew cuts in. "Why can't you see that?"

I violently shake my head and try nudging him away, but he doesn't budge. "Louis loves me," I say stubbornly, not wanting to believe Drew's words.

"You're so blind, Harry. Louis doesn't care. Not one bit," he says slyly. His words spin around inside my head and I can't get them out. It makes my heart break.

Drew inches closer, so our noses are brushing and I can feel his hot minty breath hitting my face. He closes the gap between our lips, bringing me into a tight kiss.

And I don't stop him.