Entry #8: Didn't, Couldn't, Wouldn't

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You know, I wish I told you,

All those years ago,

When we were all but apart,

The things inside this truthful heart.


I hated the smirk you made,

When you won our arguments.

I hated how long you took,

To fix the waves and curls in your hair.


I hated how you'd always think,

That I had never paid any attention.

I hated the way your clothes had made, 

No room for me to even move in.


I hated all the so called healthy things,

You'd force me to eat beside you.

I hated the tiring exercise routines,

My lungs couldn't even keep up with rep one.


But, I didn't tell you this,

Did I?


I hated the way you'd fall asleep so quick,

You'd leave me on call like an idiot.

I hated how long you took to decide on dinner,

We'd always settle for pizza anyway.


I hate the way you'd cling to me like a child,

When we watched all those horror films you insisted.

I hate the way you'd pry about my day,

Asking repetitive questions like I was deaf.


I hate the way you can't even hold a tune,

Nagging that I should play the guitar better for you.

I hate the way that you cried incessantly,

Insisting that I buy all those matching cups and plates.


But, I couldn't tell you this,

Could I?


I hate the way that you were always watching me,

Even when sick you'd get up first and cook my breakfast.

I hate the way that you kept the little things alive,

Leaving sticky notes with sweet hello's inside my briefcase.


I hate the way you'd welcome me home from work,

Our  song blasting over the speakers as soon as I'd open the door.

I hate the way you'd tell me how much you love me,

It would always keep me out of balance as I thought it was all a dream.


I hate the way you're making me miss you,

I hate the way you're in all my memories,

I hate the way your phantom still hangs over me, 

I hate the way you're keeping time frozen for this place.


But, I wouldn't tell you this, would I?

When it counted most,

If I did, would you have stayed?


                                           --Written by  KHResurreccion 


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