Dead Serious

Chapter 19 - The Aftermath

We told Steve everything and he completely freaked out.

"What were you guys thinking? Someone could've been killed!" He exploded.

"Technically he was already dead" Tom giggled.

"Do you think this is funny?" Steve scolded.

"Kind of, yeah" Tom couldn't stop himself. Seeing the furious stares that he was getting from Steve, I'm glad that I was able to keep it together.

Steve had every reason to be losing his shit. The street was filled with angry funeral guests. It was another lynch mob, I was stunned that they weren't carrying pitchforks and flaming torches. Aside from them, the place was crawling with cops too.

They were combing the scene for evidence of foul play, which Christian had been screaming over and over again. Honestly. I heard him.

"Foul play! Foul play! Foul play!"

We were all terrified of what they'd find. We technically all had an alibi though, we were at work. It just didn't help matters that our work was in the same place as the crime scene.

We were all questioned multiple times, but instead of being labelled as "suspects" we were all interviewed as "witnesses". The officer I had to deal with really couldn't believe that he'd been assigned this case.

"Now Mr. Cusack, did you see anyone suspicious in the area that morning?" He asked nonchalantly.

"No sir. This isn't the type of area that those sort of people usually hang around in. I mean, who wants to break into a funeral home right?" I asked while laughing nervously. The answer to my question was me apparently.

"Only a dumbass" He shrugged. Thanks officer.

The end result was this. No one was hurt except for Christian's two vehicles, which his insurance were willing to pay out on due to the likely event that there was a fault with the hearse and it was a manufacturing issue. I have to give Tom credit for doing a very thorough job with his sabotage.

As we were all leaving the officers and heading back to Eternal Wings to catch some Brooklyn Nine Nine (it seemed appropriate after all of our interactions with the police) we were chased down by Christian.

"You aren't going to get away with this you bastards! I told you you'll pay and you will!"

"Here we go again" Aaron rolled his eyes at our rat like opponent.

"How can you let them get away with this?" He pleaded with the police officers.

"Mr. Goldstein, please leave these gentlemen alone" Said the bored cop I'd spoken with earlier.

"Technically, he just threatened us right in front of you" Tom pointed out.

"Please be quiet Mr. Sanders" He said.

"Maybe I should have become a cop so I could teach y'all about manners!" Tom replied.

"Come on Tom. Let's get out of here" I said, ushering my chubby friend back to our home.

"I'm telling you!" Christian begged. "They broke into my funeral parlour and ruined my funerals!"

The policeman looked at him sceptically.

"Mr. Goldstein, do you really think they would be that stupid?" He asked.

I took that as our cue to leave. My smile was way too obvious for me to hide it any longer.

Christian didn't come to see us, both on the advice of the police and the fact that he still had a body to bury. I was amazed to hear that the rest of that funeral went off without a hitch. I still doubted that he'd be hosting anymore any time soon.