What is Life

The Question

    Another day on my bed staring at the blank ceiling that just kills you inside. It's just so blank and boring, gives you no creativity, nothing to stop you from the crazy thoughts in your head. The crazy thoughts such as school, what you're going to do in your future, family, and so many others. My room is small, nothing special.

    The room is shaped as a perfect square. The door is at the top left corner with my bed laid next to the same wall. And then on the other side of my room is my dressers, so I have a lot of space in my room to do exactly nothing.

     My mother and I moved in two months ago, so glad that process is over. I'm never going to move again. If anything I'll call someone and pay them some money to do it for me, I'm only fifteen and that put so much stress into my wandering mind. To be honest, I think there is something wrong with this mind of mine.

    I used to be a crazy girl, always happy, but life kind of gave me a sucker punch in the face. I used to run around with out a care in the world. Jumping around in puddles, making jokes all the time, and always making sure no one was feeling blue. Things obviously aren't like that anymore.

    My mom goes to church every Tuesday and Sunday, Tuesday for bible study. I don't go much, isn't really my type of thing. They're  always so grateful and expect you to be happy no matter what your going through. I feel as though I'm not going through much, but it's my mind man! My mind is driving me crazy! I just want to grab my thoughts and throw them out the window!

    I've been thinking about this question lately and I can't think of an answer. When ever I try to ask someone they'll say something like "why do you have to be so depressing". People don't really know I'm depressed. I don't know if I'm depressed. I barely know what depressed is, all I know is life isn't being so fun lately. That kind of relates to my question,... "What is life".

    It's a Tuesday morning and I'm stuck in bed. My alarm clock rang 10 minutes ago at 5:30, even though I woke up 5 minutes before it went off. I had a crazy dream and I can't get it out my head, but not as much as I can't get "The question" out of my head.

    The dream was that there was a big long beautiful tree ahead of me in a gorgeous field. I started to climb, and it was so fun and beautiful. I climbed and climbed and climbed until I reached the clouds. I kept on climbing but it started to become dark and the branches were becoming weak. I didn't care and kept on going until I stepped on one wrong branch and started to fall until great big hands, that shined brighter than the sun, caught me and laid me safely on the field.

    I don't know what this is supposed to mean but I guess it's a good sign. If it wasn't, I probably would've died in the dream, so today I'll just try to calm down and make it through school, (unlike yesterday).