LEMONADE

Love Drought

Riley watches the rain pitter onto her window as she stares into New York's beautiful skyline. It was 5 in the evening and she leaves for college in three days. The mood is dreary as she sits in her childhood bedroom with her teddy bear in her hands. She sits in her sacred bay window and wonders if it's magical powers can help her this time.

After a night of complete wilding, she's clear of where her priorites stand. No matter what she tries to convince herself of, she cannot live without Lucas. She needs him in her life and she's willing to see past his mistake, their love ran deep enough to overcome anything. She's disappointed in him for sure, but she knows him well enough, from his shortcomings to his strengths, to know that nothing, even his lies and infidelity can derail their relationship.

Lucas is her light and her life so his lack of attention and neglect of her unconditional love ultimately killed her. She was an independent woman, she was not needy and was not thirsty. But sometimes, she wonders if this led to his unfaithfulness, her own lack of attention and just maybe, if she was more dependent on him, this wouldn't have even happened.

She is willing to give up everything just to be with him. She doesn't need to go to Yale, she doesn't need to be a lawyer, she doesn't need to live in a big house. She just needed Lucas to be in her life. Despite all his mistakes, she's willing to start afresh with him and have their relationship prosper. The only question was, was he willing to do the same?

Together, their love was strong enough to move mountains, they could do anything. They could make it and end their love drought once and for all. They had to end it, because she was hanging on to him like he was her lifeline. She needed to feel the waves of love again, and not be gasping for survival like this. There was a shortage of love and intimacy in their relationship and that needed to be fixed.

She was strong and everyone always thought that her life was perfect and flawless, given that she had Cory and Topanga as her parents. But she was only human and there was more than just good grades and wonderful parents to her life, she was constantly stuck in her emotions and despite always using sense to make her decisons, she too could get caught up in her own emotions and let her heart guide her.

Riley thinks that she has fulfiled her roles as a daughter, a sister, a friend and a girlfriend. She cannot comprehend what wrong she has done to deserve ths. She always puts everyone's needs before her own and always strives to be the best version of herself. She's made the effort to fly out almost every month back home, despite her hectic school work and juggling a part time job in between. She's been entirely committed and focused on their relationship, always paying attention to his needs and solely devoted to him.

But that wasn't enough. Her utmost love and care could not stop him from cheating. It could not stop him from hurting her. Her love did not suffice to keep her man in line.

He hurt her. And maybe the reason why it hurt so much was because she loved him so much. She couldn't live without him, there was no doubt about it. He was her destruction and salvation.

A knock comes from the window and it snaps her out her daze. The green eyed boy stared at her with pleading eyes as the rain hit his body, drenching his body and make his usually spiked up hair fall all over his face. He was still gorgeous, even with his red eyes and a tired look plastered on his face. He was always handsome to Riley.

She lifts up the window and lets him crawl in, before quickly turning her heels to grab a towel to dry his wet body. She wants to avoid their much needed and important conversation as long as possible. She wants to avoid the idea of finally ending their undetermined relationship status. She would rather stay unofficial forever than officially strangers forever.

Lucas doesn't let her though, he's faster in his movements and pulls her into his arms, enveloping her in them. It's like dejà vu, and Riley is reminded of when he wrapped her in his arms that Wednesday evening whn she outed all his lies and wrongs. But this time, his hug is firmer, it is stronger and it is warm and familiar. She doesn't let history repeat itself and doesn't keep her hands to herself, nor push him away.

She instead tugs him closer and clings onto his body. His head in her hair as she begins to hear sobs and feels his voice crack as he mumbles apologies over and over again. She pulls away, holding onto his shaky hand, placing them around her before wiping away his tears. She cups his face and their eyes meet, finally and Riley can't help but feel at ease. She knows this man like the back of her hand and she loves him truly and deeply.

"I'm really sorry, Riley." he croaks and she's never seen him in this state, she's never seen him so raw and so vulnerable. She's only ever seen him angry to the point to blowing up and jealous to the point that he could kick a tree down, but not like this. She's never seen him so fragile, letting his heart be so unguarded and so unprotected.

This is when she realises that Lucas needs her as much as she needs him and neither of them can live without each other. "I didn't know what I was thinking." he says, slowly becomeing distressed and his hands leave hers and one slides into his hair while the other fists into a ball.

She sees the pain and remorse in his eyes as he continues talking, "Don't ever forgive me." he takes her hands into his again and lets out a whimper. "But please, don't kick me out of your life. Please let me continue to love you." Lucas manages to get out, but not long after, he breaks down again. She can't bear to watch it as tear slowly roll down her cheeks and her heart swells in her chest.

The ball was in her court now. It was her choice to make. Could she forgive this man? No. Could she actually let go of his lies? Maybe. Could she trust him to hurt her again? Possibly. Could she trust him to love her again?

Yes.

The answer is clear when she pulls his face to hers and presses her lips to his. It was a new chapter in their lives and this was their first kiss. It was the first they've tasted each other's lips in a while. It felt all so different yet familiar at the same time. It was like listening to your old favourite song. They've memorised the curve of each others lips, how perfectly in sync their tongues moved together. It was like coming home.

The rain continued to pour, signalling the end of the drought, their love drought.