Le Monde Dans Vos Yeux // The World In Your Eyes

Chapter 8

They made their way back slowly, taking in the crisp night air. Every now and then Ryan would find himself veering closer to Brendon on the sidewalk, and would have to correct himself back to his own space. But he kept finding himself closer and closer to Brendon. Finally, he settled on a safe distance, not completely touching, but just barely. Satisfying his need to be near him, but not allowing him to touch. He couldn't allow himself to get close to Brendon. If he gets close, he'll surely get hurt. Not again, not ever again.

But then, why was the only thing going through his head, the need to feel the smoothness of Brendon's skin, or the silkiness of his hair... the softness of his lips...

They reached the golden-lit hotel, and Brendon turned on his heel.

"Thanks for showing me around..." He touched the cool metal around his neck. "And thanks for this."

"De rein." Ryan scratched the back of his head, the only thing his fingers—lips—wanting to do is to touch. No, no. Can't do that.

They stood there, fairly awkwardly, just rocking on the balls of their feet and scratching the backs of their heads. Ryan's movements were jerky... stuttering. Brendon's showed not nervousness, but expectance.

Closer, Ryan's body screamed. Maybe just one touch wouldn't condemn him to an eternity of heartbreak. Just one touch of his hand on Brendon's shoulder, and his brain screams, Stop!

He settled for a compromise, and squeezed his hand over Brendon's shoulder. "Bonne nuit." And retreated as fast as his feet allow, leaving Brendon to walk up five floors and across the hall with a confused quirk of his lips and furrowed eyebrows.

~

"I want to meet him." Jon yawned, and rolled his neck to straighten out any last kinks left from sleep.

Brendon slid his eyes away from his friend as quickly as they would allow. He decided to focus on some dust particles caught in the stream of morning sun, and look innocent. "Meet who?"

"Whatever boy that's been parading you around Paris for the past three days. Don't act like I don't know. You're... very readable, Brendon." It wasn't Jon's words that got to Brendon, it was his posture. Head cocked, chin up, and some sly smirk playing on his lips. "What's his name?"

"Ryan." Well, Brendon could never win with Jon. Why fight it.

"So when do I get to meet him then? Call him and see if he's free today."

"He's probably busy."

"Only one way to find out. Call. Him."

Brendon sighed, and dialed Ryan's number. Jon leaned back on the sofa and looked all too proud of his winning.

"Bonjour?" Ryan's voice answered.

"Uh, hey Ryan. It's Brendon."

A laugh on the other side of the line. "I know."

Brendon's mind briefly wondered if Ryan has caller ID, or if he just recognized his voice. He hoped for the latter. "Oh, right. Well I was wondering if you'd like to hang out with Jon and me today. We were planning on going to see the Eiffel Tower."

Jon cleared his throat.

"And Jon kinda wants to meet you..."

"Sounds great. I have to be in to work at three, so we can head over to the café afterwards? I'll get you guys some lunch on the house?"

"Sounds great."

Jon grins and listened to Brendon say goodbye and hang up. "You've got it bad," he said with a mocking laugh.

"Pft. Do not."

"Yeah you do. You sighed dreamily twice, at least."

Brendon mumbled and grabbed his wallet. "Coming or not?"

Ryan was waiting for them, as he always was. Red v-neck and black jeans. Brendon wasn't sure if he should greet him with a hug, or what. So he settled for a grin. "Hey Ryan. This is Jon. He's like a brother to me. We met in freshman year. Jon, this is Ryan."

Jon held out his hand, and Brendon could see the skepticism in his face. "Nice to meet you."

"Enchanté." Ryan shook hands and smiled. He smiled nervously, but he smiled nonetheless.

"Well Bren, you know you can go up there, right?" Jon knew Brendon knew about this, but there's a small part of him that loves watching Brendon get excited about something.

"You bet. Let's go."

But Ryan didn't look so up for it. "I'm a little afraid of heights. I'll meet you back down here?"

Brendon looked at him concernedly. "You sure?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Alright." He and Jon joined an elevator with a few other people up to the top. He watched Ryan's body grow smaller and smaller as he ascended high above Paris. High above the world.

At the top, they leaned against the railing. Brendon searched the ground below, eyes passing over busy bodies and orange colored trees. Autumn was really the perfect time to come to Paris.

And then he saw a familiar red shirted boy, sitting on a bench and looking back up towards him. He wondered if Ryan saw him too. Or if he was still looking.

He hoped Ryan wouldn't need to keep looking for him.

Ryan looked so small. So tiny. And he understood what Ryan was saying about feeling so insignificant in comparison to everything else. But what he didn't take into account... was he was the only one Brendon saw from so high above. He's the only one Brendon was looking for.

"So, you're serious then? You really do like him?" Jon said, watching Brendon stare down at Paris below.

"I really think so... yeah."

"Why don't you seem happy about that?"

Brendon shrugged. "I just... It's Paris. How cliché is it to fall in love in Paris."

"I guess it gets that reputation for a reason?"

"Maybe. But I don't want to be predictable. We're leaving Monday. There's no way it can last. Why should I waste my time?"

Jon furrowed his eyebrows. "You won't be wasting your time if you spend it with someone you care for. Don't throw something so wonderful away just because it's happened before to someone else. Don't throw it away just because you're scared of it falling apart. Live your life. Right now. Forget the rest."

Brendon sighed. He knew Jon was right. Jon was always right. But how could he just leave... if he let himself find Ryan. If he let Ryan find him.

"Hey." Jon smiled reassuringly. "It'll be okay. Don't be so scared to live. You never know what you'll find."