"Help," Jeongguk hisses into the phone. He tugs at his suit collar, unfastening the buttons of his shirt sleeve. "For the love of god, Taehyung, you have to get me out of here."
"What's wrong this time?" Taehyung asks on the other side of the line, voice tinged with amusement. "Bad B.O.? Stinky breath? Not enough boobage?"
Jeon Jeongguk, university second year, is on a blind date at some fancy restaurant way too sparkly and pristine for his liking-his mother had decided on the venue without consulting him beforehand, as usual. God, he had to put on a suit for this. Dinner has been ordered, some fancy French thing Jeongguk can't pronounce, and Jeongguk's date-an education major from Ewha University-has just ducked to the bathroom to freshen up.
"Don't be crude," Jeongguk mutters under his breath. Eunah is nice and all, and if things were different she'd be right up Jeongguk's alley, but... "Hyung, she's a straight-laced Christian prayer group leader with a pastor for a father and she goes to morning service every Sunday to repent for her sins. Rain or shine. I told her that I wasn't into the whole religion thing and she's convinced I just need a little TLC to see the Holy Light of Jesus. She's been talking about the fucking bible for half an hour. Help me out here."
"Ooh boy, a religious nut," Taehyung says, and Jeongguk can almost hear him waggle his eyebrows through the phone. Jeongguk makes a frustrated sound, and Taehyung chuckles. "Hold your horses, your knight in shining armour is coming to the rescue."
"Just... don't pull the same shit you pulled last time," Jeongguk hisses into the mouthpiece, and hangs up, putting a smile back on his face as Eunah comes back from the bathroom.
Ten minutes and too many verses of the Old Testaments later, a hand slams onto the table in front of Jeongguk's face, narrowly missing his plate of fancily-named French food and scaring the living bejeezus out of Jeongguk.
"Jesus fucking christ!" Jeongguk yelps, before clapping a hand over his mouth. Oops. Blasphemy in front of a pastor's daughter. "What the hell?" He looks up at the owner of the hand and suppresses a groan. It's Taehyung, posing angrily like a dumbass.
Oh, fuck.
I told you not to pull anything weird, Jeongguk mouths at Taehyung, who simply flicks his fringe out of his eyes dramatically and stomps up to Jeongguk, all ready for his Oscar performance.
"You! Jeon Jeongguk! Heathen!" Taehyung wails in that theatrical voice of his, the one he uses whenever he's putting on an elaborate act, and Jeongguk sobs a little inside.
"Jeongguk-sshi?" Eunah says, looking petrified. She points at Taehyung shakily. "Um, who is this?"
"None of your business, wench," Taehyung says snidely, and Jeongguk has to hold back a bark of laughter. God, Taehyung has no shame. Taehyung turns back to Jeongguk and slaps him in the face, for real.
"Ow!" Jeongguk holds his cheek, staring at Taehyung with a what-the-fuck expression, because what the fuck? "What'd you do that for?"
"You impregnated my sister, deflowered her, stole her virtue! You toyed with her heart and ran off without a goodbye! What are you going to do, huh?" Taehyung grabs Jeongguk by the collar and drags him out of the seat. Jeongguk glares at Taehyung, still holding his cheek, and the corners of Taehyung's lips twitch up imperceptibly. Fucker. He's enjoying this way too much. "How are you going to take responsibility when the baby comes and there's no father?"
"Oh my god," Jeongguk breathes out, running a hand through his hair. He looks back at Eunah, who's staring up at the both of them, expression frozen in shock and disgust, like she's just stepped into a pile of manure. The other tables are staring in their direction now, not pleased with having their dinner interrupted in such an unsavory way. "Look, Eunah-sshi, it's really not what you think-"
