Saving Me

In My Head

So this is gonna be a little different... it's in Ashley's POV. There are going to be more chapters in Ashley's POV in the future, no worries. Hopefully this answers some of the questions you guys have been asking...enjoy :)

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Ashley's POV

"Kyla." I softly shake up to wake her up. She's dosed off in that little time I went upstairs and had that run in with Spencer. How is it that she always seems to catch me crying? She's been here what... three days and she's caught me crying at least twice.

"Where'd you go?" Kyla asks, turning over to face me.

I take a seat at the foot of her bed, "I just went upstairs for a little while." I say simply, not really wanting to talk about what exactly it was I did when I was up there. "How are you feeling?"

She groans and says, "Like shit."

"Well, that's what happens when you drink."

"Ashley..." She pauses, sitting up and looking at me. "What happened?" I hadn't really discussed all the details about last night with her yet. I wanted to make sure she was totally okay before I did.

"Well..." I trail off, as I make my way up her bed. I grab her and wrap my arm around her shoulder and she lays her head on my chest. "Somebody put GHB in your drink." I tell her and she lifts her head to look at me.

"What's that?" She asks. And I remember the fact that she's only 14 and up til now she's lived a pretty sheltered life because of me. And it's events such as last night, that are the reason I treat her the way I do.

"It's a date rape drug." I tell her and she whispers an 'oh' before laying her head back down on me. "When we found you, you were passed out and some boy was..." I trail off thinking about the scene last night. How if anything would have happened to her, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself.

"What is it, Ashley?" She asks looking up at me.

I will myself not to cry, "Spencer saved you." I settle on. There's no need for me to tell her every single detail of last night. I guess her memory loss in this case, is a good thing.

"What do you mean?" She asks, not looking up at me.

"I was panicking and I didn't really know what to do, but Spencer..." I let a small smile escape my lips before continuing, "Spencer knew exactly what to do. She didn't panic and she kept me calm... and that's why you're here now. The doctor said so himself."

"You like her don't you?" Kyla asks, not lifting her head up.

"No." I say firmly.

"Ashley, your heart started beating really fast when you were talking about her just now." She says lifting her head up from my chest, smiling.

"I..." I start, getting up from the bed.

"You miss her don't you?" She asks, and she doesn't have to say a name for me to know who she's talking about.

"Everyday." I breathe out, feeling the hot liquid starting to building in my eyes.

"Come 'ere." She says patting the spot next to her on the bed.

"I can't do this, Kyla. It's so hard to go on in this place with her not here." I sigh, taking a seat next to Kyla.

"I know." She says simply, rubbing circles in my back as the tears that were threatening, finally fall. "You're afraid." I look up at her and she gives me a small smile. "You're afraid of liking someone else, because of Sarah, right?" She asks and I nod.