Miraculous (Angel-Demon AU)

Chapter 6

ADRIEN

'No. Not now. Not with me. Not her. No.'

I'm a demon. I've always been so. We weren't, initially, as bad as people tend to think. We were meant to remind humans how important freedom and free will are; that, no matter what, your dreams and decisions are the most important thing. That freedom is more precious than any kind of company or love, for these are always selfish and fleeting. "It's better to prevent than to fall, for there are falls from which you can't get up", we've always been told.

Of course, that was just at the very beginning. People soon created their own interpretations and individual missions and, somehow, nowadays demons are sent to Earth not to free but to trick people, like Chloé... like my father.

My father is a firm believer of our cause. He believes isolation is the only way to freedom and some sort of happiness.

But I know it's bullshit. I've always known.

I'd never ever felt, during the first part of my existence, half as good as I had in the past three years. Even though I'd been taught this was not only a highly forbidden, but a shameful thought to have, I loved the people I was with. I loved them. And I greedily wished they could stay by my side for as long as possible, even though I knew that this would mean putting them in danger sooner or later.

Yet this was all I could do, to love my friends in a highly strict silence, and never... Never even think about aspiring for more.

And still, here she was, possibly the girl I cared the most about (apart from Ladybug, that is), offering me, a potential demon, her heart and her life.

'No. Please no.'

"Adrien, I... I just wish I could have told you this before." Marinette looked down, hiding her blushed cheeks from me as she searched for words that didn't come. Sadly, I knew only too well how she felt. I knew what it was to try and tell someone that you love them but being unable to do so. In my case, being unable because of many more reasons.

My whole body had gone rigid, and I ensured my face was an indecipherable mask.

She noticed my emotionless reaction and slowly, ever so slowly, let go of my hand. I could almost hear her heart crushing into one, two, three... millions of tiny pieces, as though it were made of glass.

This couldn't be happening.

"Adrien..."

"Mari, please... No. I – I don't want to hurt you!" I begged.

Her eyes were wide open, emptiness filling them up.

What could I do? What could I possibly do?

"You... I... I'm... Gosh..." she mumbled

"Mari, please... I..."

But it was too late. This girl, who had done so much for me (both as Adrien and as Chat Noir), never expecting anything in reward, was now going to fall apart because of me. Because I was far from being someone who could give her anything near to what she deserved.

"I've been stupid, I'm so sorry... I got to think that we... That you, all this time... Could have felt..." she bit her lip, which had begun to tremble.

Me? What had I done? "Adrien..." my father's voice echoed once more in my mind "a precious situation... Family honour... Danger... You don't owe them anything... Go and do as you're expected to..." Trick that girl into believing that you love her.

I had done this.

I had willingly done this.

The dancing, the showing off... I had tricked Mari into believing that this was some kind of date, that I could ever be more than a friend to her, and who knows how much time I'd been... fooling her... The words hit me like stones.