Begin Again (a Matty Healy and Jessica Sula fanfic)

12. I like you...a little

Coming up with an outfit was going to be the most challenging part of this date. My room was littered with the contents of my closet. After more than an hour of sorting and changing my mind, I settled on a black velvet skater dress and my handy black doc martens. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and pulled my hair into a high pony tail, while leaving a strand hanging down framing both sides of my face. Then I lightly coated my lips with some jam colored balm. I was ready to go now all I had to do was wait for Matty to get here.

I walked into Mica's room to show her my outfit and I was immediately bombarded with screams and questions.

"You look beautiful Sloane! Are you nervous? Excited? Or both?" I could tell how excited she was as she sat on her bed bouncing up and down, waiting for me to answer.

"To be honest I am a little nervous. But only because I feel like I have to tell him about my alcoholism and I am not ready to discuss that with him." I could feel my heart rate speed up at the thought of having to open up to Matty.

"If you aren't ready don't tell him, but I really think you should be honest with someone you are about to be romantically involved with...just saying." I could hear the truth behind her words but I still was not particularly excited about having to dole out information on my mistakes.

I got up from the bed as soon as I heard the knock at the door. I made my way downstairs with Mica following behind me. I turn around to face her before I open the front door.

"Mica I am an adult. I can handle this date on my own, please go back upstairs or something." I smile and shoo her away with my hands.

"Fine, but you better not do anything you're not supposed to do Sloane. I'm being serious." She hugs me and I give her a kiss on the cheek before she tiptoes back up to her room; where i know shes listening in the hallway.

I take a deep breathe and open the door to reveal Matty in black skinny jeans with a rip in the right knee, a rose patterned blouse with the first few buttons undone to reveal a tattoo on his chest and some black ankle boots. my heart started beating so loudly I could swear he heard every thump.

"You look stunning love." He smiled and in that moment I could tell he was just as nervous as I was, which made everything a little bit better. I became more relaxed as we made our way to his car.

As I got into the passenger seat, the smell of the car was very familiar to me; not in a good way. As soon as I set down my stomach began to turn. Before I knew it I had Matty's passenger door open and I was puking up my lunch on the grass next to his car.

As I am puking up my insides I can feel Matty's hand rubbing circles on my back and I immediately flinch away. I wipe my mouth and get out of the car.

"Are you okay? What happened?" I could hear the genuine concern in his voice, which made me regret flinching away from his gesture of kindness.

"Something about your car. The smell or something it just makes my stomach feel sick. I just need a little air and I'll be fine." I took a walk up the stairs to my porch and sat down.

A few minutes later Matty follows and takes a seat right next to me. "I was doing a little thinking, and you've only been in my car once and that was the night you were drugged Sloane."

I could feel the chills make their way up my back and my stomach beginning to churn again. "Matty I don't want to really talk about that night but maybe we can take my car?"

I could see the sympathy in Matty's eyes and I began to feel even worse about not remembering the events that took place that night. But if my puking was a symptom of that night, then my memories were coming back. "I don't want your sympathy Matty, now lets get out of here."