Starless Skies #MentalIllness

Epilogue

Dear Diary,

Noah died. He died. He killed himself.

Maybe it is my fault that he died. Maybe I could have saved him, but I didn't. Maybe it is all my fault.

I still can't process the fact that he died. He died. I won't see him ever again. I won't see his smile ever again.

They found his body in his bathroom. It was two days old when the police found it. Nobody had noticed that he was missing for two days. Not even his mom. Not even me. I had assumed that he was sick, the fact that he had killed himself had never crossed my mind.

But the thing is, he seemed so . . .so normal when I saw him in the hallways and in the classes. He seemed like everyone else. Nothing was wrong about him. Nothing that we could see.

The police found his diary in his room, along with it his last diary note. We weren't even allowed to read it. His parents forbade anyone from reading it. I just wish, I could have seen it once. Only once. I just wanted to know what his last words were. Was I anywhere in it? I guess not. After all I never told him how I felt. I never told him how much I loved him.

I wish I could have. I wish I could go back in time to when he was alive, and tell him how much I loved him. How much he meant to me. If only, I could have had the guts to tell him how I felt, maybe he would have been alive. Maybe I could have saved him.

I didn't even know him that well. He was just always there but at the same time never there. He had helped me countless number of times. He was like that. He helped everyone, other than himself. Even after he helped everyone, everyone hated him. I have not a single clue why. He was always so lovable to me. He was in most of my classes, and I loved to see him go about his day. He was always so good to people, even when they mistreated him. Maybe his kindness was what made me fall in love with him.

Now, I even sound like him, all poetic and authorish.

I remember a few months back, everyone got to know that he was an author. I had known for a while then. His writings were truly beautiful. I had accidentally read them, when we were doing a project. I think I was the only one who knew, before the whole school did, that he wrote.

My words are nothing compared to his. My words are like ants to his lions. Nothing I write, would be good compared to his. If he was here, he would have written such an eloquent eulogy, not like mine. Mine is like flint, while his would have been like diamonds.

I still can't believe that I am writing an eulogy for him. I didn't want to, but as headboy of school, I had to. Writing an eulogy for him was really hard for me. And the worst thing is that our school didn't even have enough dignity to arrange a proper funeral for him. And all because, he was a 'suicide' victim. Like death from suicide is somehow demeaning than common deaths.

I don't even know the reason he died. Maybe the reason is me. Maybe it is all of us. Maybe it is society. I have no idea, and no hope to ever find it.

Maybe I will just let it be, let it rest in peace.

I don't know where one goes after death, but I hope where ever he is, he is better than what he was when he was here. I hope he gets treated there more rightfully, than this place ever treated him. I hope that place gives him all the love that, we. . . I, couldn't give him. I hope his soul rests in peace for eternity and beyond.

I think he finally found his peace.

Yours truly,
Jonah.

XXSSXX

There it is, the absolute ending of the book! I hope you liked it! Please vote and comment if you did!

I wouldn't have written the epilogue but I wanted to show that no matter what someone will always be there who would care, if we die or if something happens to us. It's hard to believe, heck even I don't believe it, but the fact is that someone will always care, be it your friends, parents, or even a friend who you have never seen or maybe even a complete stranger. The bottom line is someone will always care. I am not saying this to be philosophical or something, but just to show that no matter what don't choose the path Noah did, otherwise in your absence you will leave several Jonah's behind who will probably never heal from the scars left behind. Think about it. And if you want to talk, I am always here. I am known to be a good listener :)

I am so glad all of us have made it to the end of the book. Let me know in the comments what you loved most (or hated) about the book. I would love to hear from you!

Also I was thinking about doing a short question answer session because there are so many questions unanswered here, so that only seems fair for me to do. Let me know if anyone is interested, and if you are then you can either comment your questions in this chapter or PM them to me. I would be looking forward to it!

Thank you for staying with me to the end of the book. I can't be more grateful!

All the love, S.