Seeing Colors

Chapter 23

Sunday, October 23, 2022

It was two in the afternoon and the Donnellys were just enjoying a quiet afternoon, watching a movie. Dec was on the sofa cuddled up with Ollie, while Anne sat on a armchair. Mika and Hurley had disappeared upstairs to get her teddy bear, so she has something to snuggle with while they watched a movie.

Dec could hear Mika and Hurley's padded footsteps making their way down the stairs. He jumped in his seat when he heard Mika suddenly squeal and Hurley start barking. He got to his feet, leaving Ollie on the sofa, and dashed into the hallway, heart beating quickly with adrenaline.

His heart rate slowed down when he saw that Mika was fine. In fact, she was as safe as she could be since she was back in her superman's arms. He smiled as Ant kissed Mika on the cheek, causing the little girl to giggle.

"Uncle Ant, your beard is tickling me!" She continued giggling as she pinched and pulled at Ant's cheeks.

"Oh soz, pet. I haven't had the chance to shave yet."

"By the looks of it, you haven't had the chance to shave for the past week," Dec quipped, alerting Mika and Ant that they weren't alone anymore.

Mika stopped what she was doing and looked at Dec. "Daddy, look! Uncle Ant is home."

Dec smiled when he caught that Mika said "home" instead of "back." He laughed and tried to match her daughter's excitement, "Haha, yep! I can see that, pet!"

Hearing the commotion, Anne and Ollie followed Dec. Upon seeing Ant, Ollie ran over to Ant and hugged his legs. "You're home!"

"Yeah, I am," Ant grinned as he ruffled Ollie's curly locks.

"You've given us quite the fright. I thought something bad happened when I heard Mika squeal," Dec says.

"Soz about that. I just wanted to surprise Mika and Ollie."

Already bored with the adults' conversation, Ollie let go of Ant and went back to Dec and started tugging on his hand. "Come on, let's go back and watch a movie, Daddy!" He turned to Ant. "You can watch with us too, Uncle Ant!"

"Yeah, join us!" Mika yelled as she wriggled in Ant's arms until he set her back down on the floor.

The five went to the living room and got settled down. Dec and Ollie returned to their spot, as well as Anne. Mika jumped onto the two-sitter sofa next to Dec, while Ant made his way to the other armchair.

"No, don't sit there!" Mika crossed her arms. "Sit next to us, Uncle Ant."

"We're gonna be all squished up if I join you guys," Ant said. "I'll just sit over here, Mika."

"No, Uncle Ant!"

Ant put his hands up. "Alright, alright, missy. You don't have to yell," he says with a smile. As soon as he sat down on the sofa, Mika pulled him closer so that Ant is now shoulder-to-shoulder with Dec before Mika climbed onto Ant's lap. Upon the contact, Ant gave Dec a small smile before shifting his gaze to the movie starting.

That was the only interaction Dec had with Ant. From then on and throughout dinner, Ant didn't speak to him much. It gave Dec a taste of his own medicine, which he took because he saw that he deserved it.

After dinner, Ant disappeared upstairs with the twins because they wanted him to tuck them in. Ant didn't reappear until thirty minutes later. Mika and Ollie managed to keep him up there with them and read them a bedtime story.

When he did come back downstairs, it was to say goodbye to Dec and Anne, who were still in the kitchen, washing up the dishes. Even then, Ant just gave Dec a smile goodbye before disappearing into the hallway to show himself out.

Anne looked at Dec and nodded her head. "Go on. Follow him."

"Thanks, Mam." He set down the plate he was drying and ran after Ant.

Dec caught Ant in the hallway just as he was about to go out. "Hey Ant, can we talk?"

Ant wrung his wrists. "I don't know...I think I should just go home, Dec. I'm actually quite tired from the drive down here."

The shorter man's face fell. "Yeah, sure. I understand."

Ant sighed. He can't bare to see the disappointment in Dec's face. "You know what, I can talk now. Not like you're asking us to run a marathon or owt."

Dec led them to the living room, where they both sat down on the two-sitter sofa. "Look Ant, I think I should start off with an apology...I'm really sorry for how I've been treating you. Youse don't deserve any of it, Ant."

Dec covered his face for a second, embarrassed for his actions towards Ant. "Youse been nothing but ace with us; you've taken care of the kids, you've taken care of me. I don't even deserve your love, Ant; I've been so rotten to you - you shouldn't love me."

"You're right, Dec."

Ant's agreement took Dec aback.

"I shouldn't love you. You don't deserve it. I don't even think you deserve my forgiveness," Ant said sternly. "But, the problem is, even if I try to convince myself to stop loving you, to not forgive you, I - I just can't do it. I still find myself loving you."

This was more surprising to Dec.

Ant entwined their hands together as he gazed deep into Dec's eyes. "I will always love you, Dec. I don't even care if you never love me back the same way; I've accepted the fact that I'll never replace Stephen. All that matters to me now is that I'm in your life and the kids' life because I care for you lot."

"Me...and the kids - we care for you loads as well." Dec bit his lip as he thought of how to word what he wanted to say next. "In fact, the kids love you...and I love you. But-"

"Ah, I knew that was too good to be true," Ant chuckled.

Dec smiled in apology before continuing. "But I don't know yet if it's the same way like you love me. And I don't know if it will turn into that kind of love in the future. However, I do know that I can't live without you, Ant. When you were gone, I missed you like how I miss Stephen. This past week showed me that there's no point in denying that you're my soulmate, Ant. You're family to me and the kids."

Teary-eyed, Ant hugged Dec. "If at some point you think that you do love me back, then that's great. We can try to being together. If not, then that's fine, too. Like I said, I don't care if you never love me back in that way. Being with you and the kids is the only thing that's important to us."