22:10 - Part II - Asymmetrical Pieces

Chapter 13

After speeding down the narrow country roads as though possessed by a demon on the loose, Lena turned her silver Vauxhall Cascada convertible onto a dirt trail between Baldwyn and Aberystwyth, one Eli had never seen before despite his morning runs. The small car climbed steeply upward. She veered right and drove through a patch of rough farmland with a few large bumps and dips until they came to a halt at the edge of a cliff overlooking the sea. With a shift forward and a raise of the brake handle, she put the car in park. Eli recognized where they were but still had no idea how they arrived there.

Once Lena cut off both the engine and the headlights, they could see the glowing flickers of the towns along the coast as small clusters of illumination piercing the darkness. Minus the car's roof, the tide hitting the rocks mixed with the radio to produce an otherworldly panoramic quality when looking up at the stars and moon scattered among the gaps in the night clouds.

Eli looked over at her. "This is nice. A bit crazy, but nice."

"I thought you might like it," she said as she slid out of her jeans and crawled over into the passenger seat on top of Eli.

They kissed as she loosened his belt and helped wrestle his trousers below his thighs. Lena raised herself up, guided his tip into her, and let out a heavy exhale as she settled down on him.

She sighed. "God, yes. Now I remember why I keep you around, Eli. Fuck, you feel good inside me."

The song ended on the radio and, without a full second of pause, a raspy shining voice followed: "The Rolling Stones taking us past midnight with "Get Off of My Cloud." Just a fantastic track. Absolute classic. Released in the U.K. today in 1965. It topped both the British and American charts less than a month later. I thought it would lead very nicely into my favorite song of all time celebrating over fifty years since it hit the airwaves..."

She reached behind herself and turned the radio knob.

"Hey, you can't turn that down, it's Bob Harris."

"We need to talk."

"But baby, that's Whispering Bob Harris. If you turn it down, we won't be able to hear him," Eli laughed.

"Bob can wait."

"But this is the best radio show on the BBC, and, like I said, you will barely hear him since he's Whispering Bob Harris.'' Lena stopped, straightened up, and looked at him carefully. Eli got the message. "Okay. Let's talk. What do you want to talk about?"

She began to slightly rock on him again. "You have to move on," she said bluntly.

"What?"

"You must start moving on emotionally."

"I have no idea what you are talking about. Is this about us?" Eli asked.

"Oh, no, of course not. You would know if we were finished. And I wouldn't end it like this. That would be cliché. I am more creative."

"I'm lost then," Eli said. "So what do you mean?"

"Eli, I mean the things you won't tell me. I could tell when I came back to the table tonight that James had been asking you about your past. He didn't notice, but I know when you zone out a bit. Whatever you are reliving again and again in that head of yours, let it go. You can replay the past in your mind all you want, but it's always going to end the same way. Stop trying to reconcile all of it; your only real option is to put it behind you."

"Look, I've told you everything."

"No you haven't. You've probably opened up more to me than anyone else in a long time, but I know you haven't told me everything."

Eli was silent for a while as they fucked slowly. Then he tried to speak. But he could not figure a way in his mind to put the sentences together. "It's just...umm...how can..."

"Shhhh," she said, kissing him to cut off his words. "I don't want you to go into it now. I only want you to start thinking about finally working through it. You know, step out of that emotional prison in there. It's crippling you, baby."

She kissed him again, but she had provoked him and nudged the part of him that was subconsciously anguished.

Lena expected him to kick back a bit, and he did: "Damn it. Is that you really want? Do you really want to go there? Do you want some kind of freak show? Because that's where it goes from here."

He was furious and tried to push her off, but Lena was having none of it. She would not let his arms get a hold on her, and she pinned her waist against him. The body struggle was out of synch with the smooth rhythm of the soul music, which made the moment even more aggravating for Eli.

"Whoa, there. Where do you think you are going, mister?" she said and rocked back and forth on him faster. "You think I'm going to let you go? No way. I'm enjoying this, and I say when it stops." She ran one hand through his hair, and her breathing became short and heavy. "Besides, I'm really close now," she struggled to say. "Don't you dare move..."

What could he do? Eli gave up resisting and placed his hands on her ass, helping push her over the edge of herself. He started to laugh a little. Lena hit the side of the car seat with her fist as she orgasmed, letting out gasps and whimpers.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" she said as she collected herself and pushed her hair back.

"Not at all," he replied, smirking.

"I didn't tell you to stop, did I? I'm not done. That's just round one," she ordered. "How does it feel to be used?"

"There are worse things," he replied.

Now she was laughing a little too. "I bet. At least you are being used by someone who knows how to do so properly." She was not done getting into his head either. "Look, I speak for every girl you've ever been with and every woman you are ever going to be with...whatever it is...and I mean it...whatever it takes, let it all go. You're not damaged goods, you just think you are. Decide not to be. " She kissed his neck and let her words sink in. "Eli you could be lethally seductive..."

"I'm not much of a womanizer anymore."

"Fine. Be a one-woman man. But be a man she can wake up next to in the morning and think, Damn, he's lethally lovable."

"Lethally lovable?" Eli laughed again. "Sounds awful. Where did you get that?"

"I just made it up." She laughed too. "But seriously, Eli, if you really care about a woman, then she deserves to wake up next to the real you in the morning. And when she walks up behind you while you are shaving, wraps her arms around you, and looks at the reflection of you both in the mirror, staring back at her should be one man totally there with just her. Not two different men in the mirror—both you, the man she loves in the present, and some guy with a haunted look in his eyes that says he is not really there because every time he's left alone inside his own head, he's being hunted."

"You have no idea what you're asking," he replied.

"No. I'm not asking you anything. This is about you, not me. I'm telling you that you can spend the rest of your time sinking to that miserable space or you can actually take some pleasure in being alive, baby. That's all."

"Hear me out. Can I talk now?"

"No. The conversation is over." She reached behind and turned the radio back up.

"But a conversation implies two people talking."

"That's just a technicality that I choose to forego in this instance," she said as she held onto the seat and arched her back while rotating and whipping her hips deep and powerfully on him.

"So, still want to stop and have a conversation, Eli?"

The only voice came from the radio: "As I said: My favorite track of all time. Nothing even gets close. Except maybe some Muddy Waters. Coming up in a few minutes time. Here on BBC Radio 2. Online. On Digital. And on 88 to 91 FM."