Hollywood's Golden Runaway

(1 5)

I've never been so thankful to not be called in for the day. Ethan came by my trailer first thing in the morning and told me that he needed to do a lump of extra work with Sydney and Alex while the extras are in town, so not to bother getting ready for the day and relax. God, if he only knew how much I need to relax right now.

All I want is the comfort of my Grandma. So when he leaves, I wrap myself up in an oversized hoodie Liam had left behind at some point and a pair of sunglasses, despite the distinct lack of sunlight today. The fact that I am not going to be filming today means that I won't be able to take my usual dark-haired wig so I ensure that all my hair is tied back and hidden underneath my hood. 

The drive to the hospital is as dreary as usual as I think about what state I'll find Grandma in when I arrive. Despite everything right now though, my struggles with Finn, Olivia, Grandma. I know that being in her presence will calm my nerves. I want to make sure that she's comfortable and to know how her situation is progressing. So with the small amount of confidence I feel right now, I pull into the parking lot of the hospital.

***

I ended up being at the hospital for the entirety of the hospital's early visiting hours before I was sheparded out of the room again so the nurses could deliver her rounds. Her doctor had also mentioned taking her for a routine MRI examination. So with a promise to check in with one another again later, I returned to the set.

As soon as I step through the door, I walk straight into shower and change back into my pyjamas, planning on making the most of Grandma's 'relax' advice. With a cup of coffee cradled between my hands, I curl myself onto the sofa with reruns of Gilmore Girls running on the TV. But finding that I can't focus on the scenes playing in front of me, I resign myself to lying on my back and staring at the ceiling, watching the steam curl and dance above me. Taking my headphones, atmospheric and dramatic music fills my ears and blocks the noise from the TV. Part of my adopted routine is to contact the movie's score composer to get the first recordings of the movie's music. It has been a way for me to find Selina. I find it incredible the way the music can reflect the atmosphere of the story it's accompanying. I can always feel the emotion behind the music and the fear, or pain, or joy, or hope that each piece represents.

The piece that comes through first is one that goes with Liam's character, Mason's departure at the beginning of the movie and it's full of intensity and sadness. It features the same motifs that have become Mason and Selina's theme and at the same time become Liam and Isabella's theme. I don't think I'll ever hear that theme and not instantly think of Liam. And that only reminds of his absence.

The door being knocked jumps me out of my sadness. I snatch the headphones from my ears and stub the lit cigarette onto the dirty plate on the floor. I am so taken by surprise by the visitor that I stumble over my feet and into the door. Clumsy as ever. Waiting for me is, of course, Liam. I knew this moment was coming.

"Hey," I greet him breathlessly. The emotion on his face is unreadable but he enters anyway. My stomach starts to turn, the thought of having left this conversation too long. His silence terrifies me more than anything he could say. I stand by the door, watching him as he takes in my less-than tidy surroundings. His eyes land on the stubs of cigarettes that have piled up on the plate. I don't even remember smoking all of those. He settles himself on the sofa nevertheless. "Ethan benched you for the day as well, huh?" He doesn't answer.

"Hey, look, I'm sorry that I didn't meet you last night. I just got back really late and I didn't think that you'd still be up." I move to the edge of the settee, perching myself on the armrest. He's silent for a few  more seconds, his forehead creased and his eyes shining with a myriad of emotions - none of them good.