The Hawk's Son

Chapter 2: Daddy

Riza sighed as she sat down on the bed in her room. Finally, after setting up a few of her things around the room, she could finally get some rest, which was unsettling. As a trained military officer, rest was usually out of the question. Even with boring paperwork, she didn't allow herself to take breaks. The thought of her getting one now was almost like a dream.

But that was what she hoped everything was to be. She wanted everything to be a dream. No. Not a dream. This was a nightmare. She was pregnant with the child of GOD-KNOWS-WHO! She wanted to wake up and be back to her usual morning routine. She was even willing to do her superior's paperwork just to get away from this.

A soft breeze blew through the window and Riza looked at the scenery outside. It was such a beautiful day, yet she felt like a storm was raging inside of her. The bright and sunny weather outside did not suit how she felt at all. She didn't feel like being cheerful or happy like the weather indicated.

She stood up and closed the curtains to block out the bright sunlight. She didn't want to look outside for now. She went back to the bed and sat down. She hugged her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her arms. She wondered for until when she could do this without a swollen stomach getting in the way.

And when she wanted to do her usual morning exercises, she couldn't. The thought made her squirm uneasily. Exercising was something that she had gotten used to as a military officer. It was what basically made her day whole.

And there was the matter of the child after being born. Where would she keep it without being found out? She had to work and her one year leave was the best she could get. Leaves were very difficult to get approved of. Even a one week leave was difficult to get approved. What about her one year leave? She only got permission because she made a deal with the Colonel, who she was on good terms with. Consider it biased, favoritism - who cares? She got permission and that was that.

What was she going to do with this child? Should she hire a nanny? No. She'll surely gossip and the news that she had a child would surely spread. Add in the fact that she was basically going to be a single, unmarried parent, she was going to be labeled as a failure. Her reputation in the her line of work would definitely go down and there was no denying the fact that she disgraced the name of the country's military.

She thought she trained herself well enough to avoid things like this! Damn it!

She was so stupid. If there were these negatives, why couldn't she just get rid of this unborn child and be back to her usual job at Central?

She wanted to. She wanted to get rid of it... so badly... But she could never get herself to do it. She didn't know why she couldn't. She just can't. She couldn't remove this being inside her.

If she thought herself as fearless days ago, then she took her thoughts back. She was inexplicably scared. She was afraid of this. She was afraid of pregnancy and worst of all, she was frightened of the thought of being a mother.

She was never the maternal type. She was the type who would scare children to death, literally. How could she even manage this?

Her hand slowly went up to her stomach and she let out a shaky breath. "A baby... huh?" She lifted her head up to stare at the ceiling and sighed. I hope Rebecca knows what she's gotten herself into..."

As she burrowed herself slowly under her covers, the phone suddenly rang. It was all the way out at the end of the hallway outside the bedroom but the house was empty, so of course, the ringing was much louder. Riza tried to cover her head under her pillow and waited for her friend to pick it up. The ringing stopped sometime later but she didn't hear footsteps that indicated Rebecca had answered it. She shrugged it off and was about to go back to sleep when the ringing started again.