It's Time |A.I|

09

Chapter Nine

Does anyone truly know how it feels to have your life taken from you? People, friends, they try to act like they understand but they just don't. They'll never get it unless it happened to themselves. It scares me, really. That I'm alone, not really alone, but I count not being with Adelaide emotionally as lonely. She was my true love, the one who kept me going at bad times, the one who made me smile when my mother had just died. She was more than just a wife to me, she was my best friend. And the sad thing is, she doesn't even know there's a little girl waiting for her mommy to love her just as much as her daddy would.

I sniffled, feeling my nose starting drip as tears fell down my cheeks, and onto my lips. My heart wasn't fully broken, not in half per-say, just crumbled like cookies when you accidentally smash them.

The cold air whipped at my face, turning my tears to a hard, crusty stain. The coldness soaked into my body, and into my bones; making me shiver from the inside out. I needed to clear my head, look at my choices; think about what I need to do. It's been nearly three months since she's been in her hospital bed, not stirring even once. A part of me knows -feels- that maybe she isn't going to come back. Every time I think about her my world spins a little slower, and not in a good way. My world turns into mush and it's all grey, it's like there's no color, or happiness. It's all gone; just like her.

I steadied my breathing to slow, shallow ones; taking a breath of the fresh windy air. It smelt of gas and oil from cars that passed by.

"Mr. Irwin?" Everything seemed to go in slow motion when I heard the man speak. A puff of air escaped my lips, the cold air chilling it and making it appear out in front of me. I turned around, putting my hands in my front pockets to warm them.

I couldn't look him in the eyes, deep sadness raising from the pit of my stomach into my throat. I didn't want to know what was about to come from his lips. "Yes?" My voice cracked, along with my heart and soul.

"Mr. Irwin, I'm sorry I have to say this at such a time. But I think it's in yours and Adelaide's best interest we take her off life support. I'm afraid her vital signs are not getting any better, her cancer is spreading to her bones, and her organs are starting to shut down. There's not much more we can do." A frown etched it's way onto his face, deepening the wrinkles around his mouth. His face held concern, sorrow; like part of his heart was breaking for me.

I froze, my body locked in place as I stared at the man with brown eyes. I slowly went over every little thing that escaped his mouth. My head was fuzzy with all the emotions invading my cells at once. "H-her bones?"

"I'm afraid so, Mr. Irwin."

"Excuse me Dr. Wilson, I need a moment." And I ran. Ran to wherever, away from my problems, away from Adelaide. I could feel my heart pumping three times the normal rate, adrenaline coursing through my veins. My sides started to clench, but I couldn't stop; I didn't want to. Tears didn't escape as I wanted them to, I had no more to shred. I just felt... Empty. Just like how my life was; empty.

I finally slowed down after a while, walking around downtown where restaurants held parties and happy families in one place, with lights around every corner. People walked from store to store, children laughing, parents holding their child's hand to cross the street, and couples whispering with smiles on their faces.

My stomach fell; I could never do that again. Well, not that I couldn't, its just I don't want to. I couldn't see myself with anyone other than Adelaide. I know she would want me to be happy, but the truth is I wouldn't be happy without her.

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The lights were off as I walked in the front door. "Luke? Where are you?"

"Living room!"

Luke lied on the couch as I made my way through the dining room and into the living space. Hope was in his right arm sound asleep; the TV on low volume so she wouldn't wake. She got so big in the last three months, it was shocking; I didn't know they grew that fast.

We meet eyes and his eyebrows scrunched together. My eyes were red with tears and my body rigid from the cold. I never got my jacket from inside the hospital.

"What happened?"

I swallowed, pushing my tears back. I wasn't going to cry, I was going to be a man and suck it up. Because that's what we're supposed to do. Even when we don't want to.

"A-Adelaide's cancer spread to her bones, Luke." I broke down and lunged for him, I don't care who it was; I just wanted a hug. Man to man. Just two men holding onto each other for dear life as we realized the person we both loved was out of reach. My wife. His sister.

"Wh-what?"

"She's dying and there's no saving her."

Luke choked out a sob. "But.. But I thought the doctor said she would survive? I thought everything was going to be okay, she's strong. I thought she was strong."

"Me too." I put my head down.

Luke's face changed, a deep frown settling in place. "Put Hope to bed. We need to talk about Adelaide's will and what she wants after death." His voice held no emotion, he was empty; just like me.

I nodded, taking Hope's fragile body into my giant arms. She opened her eyes for half a second, smiled, and went right back to sleep; making little baby noises as she did so. At least I had something to remind me of Adelaide.

Our child.

•Edited•

*1,033 words*