Womanizer

Chapter 22: Ugly Duckling

I wasn't going to post until tomorrow...but I decided to be nice XD

~*Sierra*~

I ran out the door, but stopped once I was in the hallway. Tears started streaming down my face as I couldn't control my feelings.

He dumped you Sierra. Forget about him.

God, I wish I could, but he was my first love. No one forgets their first love, even if it hurts really bad. And boy, does it hurt.

Caleb. Poor Caleb. Everything in my body is telling me that he would love me more than Cameron ever could, but something in me is pulling me from him. He said he wouldn't let anyone hurt me. He said he would kill himself before hurting me, but here he is, making me whimper.

I love you.

The simple three letter words that makes most people cry of joy, makes me cry for help. For most, those words mean the best thing in the world when their loved ones say it to them. To me, those words tear me apart and torture me.

I should blame Cameron for ruining those words for me, because throughout our whole relationship, those three words were lies to him. I can't deal with lies. They are dirty secrets that hurt people in the end.

I wanted to stomp in that penthouse and tell Caleb that I love him, too. But I couldn't, because seeing his pretty face would damage me more in ways I can't explain.

"Please," His eyes burn with sadness. "Please, pick me."

I walk out the building in tears, trying no to attract attention. I get in my car and drive.

I drive with not a clue in the world about where I'm going.

I was a coward and I hated myself for it. I run away from my problems, instead of facing them. I can't deal with the pain that comes along with taking risk.

I park in an abandoned parking lot and cry. I cry because I have two men saying they love me. I cry because in every other girl's perspective, my life is paradise, but I see a curse or karma biting me in the ass like a bitch. I cry because I can't handle emotions, nor feelings well. I cry because I hate myself for not being good enough for Cameron in the first place. I cry because I love Caleb, and in my head loving him is a sin.

I cry because I can't do anything right.

So I sit in my car. My head resting in the steering wheel as pour out the emotions I can no longer hide.

I hated myself.

I was ugly, so ugly I practically looked anorexic. I was naïve and stupid, I can't even understand a normal joke. I was weak and vulnerable, I always need someone to do shit for me. I wasn't perfect like Jalo or Beyoncé. I wasn't the girl that guys go for.

I'm the girl that watches Friends all day on the couch, while snacking on Cheetos. I was the girl that could burn down a house if I attempted to cook. I was that girl that no one tried to flirt with. The "unattractive" one.

I was the ugly duckling.

And I hated it. I hated it so much. Yet, all I could do about it was weep. No matter how hard I try, I would never be able to fix myself to perfection.

I stayed in the car as I watched the hours pass.

12:00 p.m.

1:00 p.m.

2:00 p.m.

Around 4:00 I started to get calls. Numerous calls all from the people I didn't want to talk to.