INDICA ♔ ON MY BLOCK [OSCAR DIAZ]

FOUR

    "Well, that was a bust," Jamal ripped off his bandit cap, slamming into onto his lap.

"There's always tomorrow," Ximena gave him a smile, trying to cheer her up her bestfriend.

Jamal's eyes narrowed slightly while he slowly nodded his head, "Yeah, you're right. Chivo knows something, so I'm not stopping until he spills. There's tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, a-"

"Dude," Oscar held up his hand, shushing the teenager.

Jamal swallowed the lump in his throat, "Sorry."

He tapped on the back of Ximena's seat, "Alright, I have a Calc exam tomorrow, I'll you two ex-lovebirds be." The skinny boy managed to roughly, but successfully push and squeeze his way out from the back of the car.

Ximena rolled her eyes as she watched Jamal make his way into the house.

"He worries me," she said, shaking her head.

"What, like you're scared of him?" Oscar questioned.

"More like scared for him," the girl corrected. Oscar began to chuckle, making Ximena smile hearing the familiar sound. The moment died down, leaving the couple in an awkward silence until the Santo cleared his throat.

He glanced over to her, "Earlier today, when you came by the house, you said you needed to tell me something."

Ximena let out a deep breath, her shoulders rising then falling.

"Fuck," she thought to herself.

Her tone lowered as she tried to calmly come up with an excuse, "Yeah, I did. It's not important now."

"Well," Oscar pressed, "what was it?"

Ximena made the mistake of looking him in the eyes at his question. She knew the answer he was looking for. She had kept him waiting for the status of their relationship for weeks. Ximena knew that she was confusing him.

She didn't want to be with him for certain reasons but the girl couldn't allow herself to leave him alone or find the courage to cut him out of her life completely. Ximena kept the contact going for a few seconds before turning away. Oscar's face fell as she remained silent, staring at nothing outside of her window.

"Just let me know if I should stop waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Ximena snapped at him, her neck jerking back to his direction.

"Waiting for you! Waiting for you to make up your mind about shit and what you want, Ximena. Waiting for you to heal."

"No one asked for you to wait, Oscar!" Ximena reminded, turning her body to where she was now facing him as she rose her voice, "I think you're forgetting the first step to healing is to actually forgive someone for what they did. I'm so sorry if me not being able to do that just yet is holding you back."

"'For what they did'? What exactly did I do, Ximena."

Oscar's expression was grave and intimidating.

Ximena didn't realize the words that she had let slip, immediately cursing herself for it. "You know I didn't mean it like that-"

"No, you did," Oscar simply nodded, keeping his calm demeanor, "You blame me for what happened, I know you do."

Ximena couldn't speak.

She knew if she tried to defend herself, she would be lying.

"I'm just glad you finally admitted it."