When We Grow Up

Chapter 3

Louise wakes up to the word "Buttcakes" being screamed around by her sister's family. With a roll of her eyes she tries to fall back asleep, but to no avail.

"Oh my God..." she mutters, sighing and sitting up. Even if the concept of buttcakes, in all their chocolate-gooey glory, is disgusting, they do taste delicious.

And they smell even better.
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Louise can't believe that she actually wants one now. When Tina'd invented the concept of buttcakes, Louise was the first one to oppose - as always - and refused to try one for two years, until she was fifteen. Regrettable, but it did save her a lot of questions.

She doesn't even have to force herself out of bed. It's as if she was drawn to the kitchen by the smell. Apparently, so was everyone else.

"Good morning." Tina says, standing in front of the skillet. "How many buttcakes?"

"Uh...two." Louise says, yawning. The boys stare, and she realizes she must still been in her pajamas, with the world's most attractive bedhead displayed for all to see. "What time is it?"

Tina takes a break to check her wristwatch. "Ten twenty-four. I didn't want to wake you up."

"What time do we need to be at Dad's?" Louise asks, and she sees Jimmy look at the calendar on the wall. "Twelve." he announces.

"Great." Louise says. "If you need me after breakfast I'll be taking a nap."

"You just woke up!" Mattie says. "Don't you have to get ready for the party?"

Louise shakes her head. "It's Dad. He won't care if I show up in pajamas as long as I'm there."

The kids exchange a glance, and look at their mother expectantly.

Tina turns to look at her sister, shooting daggers with her eyes. "Aunt Louise is going to get dressed just like the rest of us." she says. "Nobody is wearing pajamas."

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. Setting a good example for the kids and that crap.

"Yeah, yeah, uh, stay in drugs and don't do school, kids." Louise says in a mock-parental tone. Was that backwards? "Is that how you set a good example?"

Chester stifles a laugh. "Yeah, close enough." he says. "You're the fun aunt! Don't turn into Mom."

Louise lets out a small smile and smirks at Tina. "See, T? I'm the fun aunt. I don't have to be responsible. Kids, let's go eat some ice cream and corn dogs and crap in our pajamas at Wonder Wharf!"

"Louise." Tina says, warning her sister that this was a boundary. "Don't say crap."

"Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap." Louise mutters.

"Crap!" Mattie yells, and Tina sighs. As much as she loves her sister Louise can be quite a handful, even as an adult.

"Aunt Louise said crap." Alfonzo says, and Chester looks at his brother menacingly.

"Shush! Tattletale." he says. Alfonzo punches his arm.

"MOM! AL HIT ME!" Chester announces, and Louise laughs.

"Dude, that was the most hypocritical fifteen seconds of a conversation I've ever heard." she says.

"Stop." Jimmy says. They listen.

Tina turned off the skillet. "Please set a good example." she whispers, and Louise sighs.

"You're trying to get milk from a steer here, T." she replies. "Good examples and me? Oil and water."

"And I." Tina corrects, earning a groan from her sister.

"For the love of God, Tina." Louise mutters. "Well, kids, let's go do some homework and not pick on little children. Maybe eat some broccoli or something."

Tina pinches the bridge of her nose. This is Louise's idea of a good example? Yikes.

"How about let's not do any of those things." Mattie says in a mock stage whisper.

"I like broccoli." Alfonzo whispers.

"Nobody likes broccoli" Says Chester.

"Ok guys, brunch is gonna be ready in a bit so you go watch tv or something"

"Mom. Saturday morning cartoons? I'm a little old for that" Chester says, exasperated, as the words come out of his mouth he hears the opening theme to Scooby doo and his aunt exclaim "AW YEAH! SCOOBY DOO!"

"Oh, yeah Scooby's cool... I love Scooby." Says Chester, going over to sit on the couch.

"Wow." Says Tina rolling her eyes, annoyed at how much Chester worships his aunt.

"Alright kids go get dressed and then you can go to wonder warf with aunt Louise after breakfast!" Says Tina

~~~~~Later that day~~~~~

"So... Now that mom isn't here, will you tell us about that murder you mentioned earlier?" Asks Mattie while licking the ice cream dripping from her face.

"Hmmm. I think I should save it for when your a bit older." Says Louise, cleaning up Alfonzo.

"AW how come." Mattie protests.

"Cause your too young, I know it sounds interesting, but it's actually really gory." Says Louise.
"And I'm pulling your leg." She mutters

"Oh come on I'm not too yo- what was that?" Mattie says.

"I'm pulling your leg." Says Louise trying to keep a straight face. "Did you honestly think I'd follow your moms rules?"

" I guess your right." Says Mattie. "Ok so spill!"

"Ah ah ah! Manners!" Teases Louise.

"OK, spill PLEASE." Says Mattie with an exasperated sigh.

As Louise regaled the three fascinated Belcher-Pesto children with the tale of the Toaster Killer, Editing the particularly gory parts as to not scar her niece and nephews, just as she was getting to the end of the story she noticed that her niece and nephews rather than looking at her, were looking behind her. As she realized that, her voice faded and she could hear a foot tapping behind her. That was not a good sign. It was either a security guard who wanted them to move or...

"I thought I told you NOT to tell them murder stories."

Tina.

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When Tina was angry she got really calm and quiet. Which is a lot scarier than yelling.

"Louise. I specifically told you not to tell them those horrific stories about your work."

"You did. And I thought about it... for about ten seconds." Says Louise.

"Typical."

"Huh? W-what was that? I couldn't here you over the SARCASM." Says Louise, maybe a little too defensively.

"This is JUST LIKE YOU. You completely disregarded my rules for MY KIDS." Says Tina, breaking her calm and collected facade.

"WELL ITS EXACTLY LIKE YOU TO HAVE STUPID RULES FOR YOUR KIDS! THEY'RE KIDS, OF COURSE THEY WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THIS! ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE A TEACHER AND A DANCER FOR PARENTS!" Louise blurts.

Tinas expression goes from anger to hurt in mere seconds.

"I'll have you know. That being a teacher is much harder than its made out to be, and Jimmy's been dancing since you were in diapers. We are both just as accomplished as the great Louise Belcher." She says coldly.

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After that there was little to no speaking unless Louise needed something and she didn't know where it was.