The wedding part 1.

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(It's been a busy busy time for me with my dad moving meaning I now stay at my mothers place 24/7 which is basically hell and my graduation happened which brought a lot of stress cuz I couldn't find an outfit and then my aunt decided to throw a housewarming so that's where I am right now. I didn't check this chapter, I'll edit it later because God knows when I'll be home where I can actually sit down and check if the chapter looks fine)

Louis POV

I had tried so desperately to keep my distance from him. Fighting every instinct I had inside me that was screaming to run back into his arms. My body craved the way his arms would wrap around me, holding me tightly against his own in love. My skin crawled and itched just to be touched by him and him alone. Yet I fight it, not because I want to but because I have to.

My weakness has always been Harry. Every inch of me screams for him almost like it was created to be his. I suppose in some ways it was but that was a dangerous road to go down, and not a game I'm willing to play.

Ever since I first met him, it was like magnets suddenly being placed next to each other and coming together. There wasn't anything that could separate or pull us apart. We became a packaged deal, always together, always one. Until the greater outside force pushed us apart and stripped us away of everything that drew us to each other.

I have spent years in pain from the day I had to leave Harry. I've spent years in lies and hatred for myself only growing more and more everyday. Everyone around me had no idea until I made the mistake that night and let the whole world know about my problems. Part of me feels like it was the worst thing I could have done, yet the other part of me feels like maybe it was for some reason meant to happen.

Although now looking back on it I wish I could change the way I handled things. Wishing that I had never put my family and friends through all that but at the time I felt it was the only way. The resentment I felt when they sent me away lasted for a while before I realized I really did need help. I spent my time alone there learning how to cope with things and turn them all around for the better.

Everyone seems to think I made a quick recovery when in reality it's quite the opposite. I've always been quite the good actor and this bit is no exception. There are days where I feel at peace and like I'm moving on but then there are days that drag me back down into that dark hole I never want to be found in again. Those days are the ones I have to fight the most, and they are the hardest because I have no one fighting with me.

No one can quite understand the reasons for the way I'm living my life right now. I'm well aware that everything I'm doing is contradicting to everything I said over the internet that day. I don't know if people think I've just suddenly forgotten it all but I most certainly haven't. Everything I said was true and it still does remain true.

I love Harry, but I can't have him.

~~~~~

Slamming the door to my own flat I storm inside, ignoring the calls of my family coming from the living room. I stomp up the stairs and into my bedroom slamming the door as well and locking it. My fists clench tightly together as I march into my bathroom and quickly strip off my clothes.

With the water turned on and warming I step under the heavy stream and rest my head against the tiled wall. My eyes close themselves tightly as I try to hard to fight every image making their way behind my closed eye lids. Every touch, every kiss is seared into my brain and on a constant replay.

Ever since I left his flat, leaving him looking broken hearted once again, I haven't been able to get the images from last night out of my head. Every last detail to its finest was branded into me and I knew I wouldn't be forgetting it for a long time. Only right now it's not the details of what came about last night that is making me angry, but what I said to him today that is.

27 Minutes -Larry Stylinson-Where stories live. Discover now