The Princess and Her Cat

Eight

When I woke the following morning it was around eight o'clock, school had started. Yet Adrien was still laying next to me, strong arms wrapped around my waist. One of his hands was laying lightly on my stomach; my shirt was bunched around my ribcage on one side. The scars there where partially covered, almost like he was trying to fix them, or make them untrue.

They were though.

Except for maybe alone. Because now I had Adrien. I stayed in his warm embrace for a short while longer, then stood up to get dressed.

He mumbled a little as I arranged the covers around him, then sleepily asked, "Mari?"

"Yeah, Adrien?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just getting up to get ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Nothing, just thought I'd change my clothes."

"I can help with that," he mumbled, eyes still closed.

"Not a chance, Kitty." I started to walk away, but then turned back and snagged Adrian's shirt from its spot on the floor. It would serve me well to have a reminder that I was not alone. After slipping it on and inspecting myself in the mirror, (it came down to the middle of my thighs and the collar sagged sometimes,) I slipped on a pair of leggings, then went out of the bathroom, brushing my hair. Adrien was sitting on the chase, munching a pastry. When he noticed me he looked up smiling, then walked over to greet me.

"So that's why I couldn't find my shirt," he teased.

"Sorry, I can give it back if you want." I started to pull it off, but he stopped me.

"It's fine, it looks cute on you. But what did..." his voice trailed off as I lifted the hem of his shirt again, holding it to my chest.

"My scars?"

"I never realised that they were... Did he... did he do that to you?" His question went unanswered as he reached out a tentative finger, brushing the A in "Alone." "Why did he do that?"

"I don't know."

"Do they hurt?" he asked, bending over and kissing my stomach once, his lips finding the R in "Worthless."

"Only when the memories come back." His hands went to the gentle curve of my waist as he pulled me closer.

"What happens when the memories come back?" he whispered.

"I... They burn. I feel the pain again."

"What makes you think of it?"

"Looking at them. Nightmares. Seeing blood."

"Not me?" he asked, looking up.

"No! Never." Relief made his shoulders sag. "Why didn't you leave this morning? My parents are going to be home in another hour."

"Then I have fifty-five minutes." He paused. "Do you have any cheese?"

After feeding his kwami, Plagg, Adrian and I said our farewells. He promised to return that night, but I told him not to worry about it. Despite my insisting against it, he promised to come anyway.

Secretly I was relieved. I didn't know if I could survive the night alone.

I needed him more than I'd like to admit. I didn't want to need him. But here I was, hopelessly lost in his eyes and his smile.

How long would I survive without him?

The day was quiet. My parents came home, but they left me alone, seeming to know that being alone was what I needed. If they came up they would ask questions. I couldn't answer questions without insufferable pain and wanting to die.

But when I was alone, I could think. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not. I thought of Adrien. I thought of Ladybug. I thought of death.

I still wanted to die. It was like Adrien was a single thread, pulling me to life while the whispers of doubt in my ears were a dozen cables anchoring me to death. The pull was too strong. Adrien's string was going to snap.

I couldn't do that to him.

So I did the only thing I could.

I transformed into Ladybug, and sat alone under the observation deck on the Eiffel Tower. When night fell I stayed there. I watched the dark figure of Chat bolting through the night, but I did not follow. I was hurting him. I was going to drag me down with me.

But as I sat there, my chest ached. It ached for Adrien.

I was selfish that night. I went back to my room, as Ladybug. When I dropped through the trap-door, Chat jumped.

"My lady? Wh-what are you doing here?"