All That Leads To You

Chapter 10 | Driving Sleepless

Dedicated To @GlitterandDust7000
thank you for the awesome trailer! You rock! xx (trailer is in the first part, "All That Leads to You")

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"i'd throw it all away to the shadows of regrets, and you would have the best of me."

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"Let's talk outside. I need a smoke."

Xander takes the key out of the ignition and opens the door without missing a beat. I flinch when he slams it a little too hard, and I take one look at him—his expression hard and eyes dark, though they're the lightest crystal blue eyes I know.

I follow his steps. The weather is better now; it's still gloomy and the crowd in the park remains inexistent, but the tension inside the car felt unbearable, so anything else counts. For the first time, I'm thankful for his smoking habit. Not that he'd care anyway. Xander does whatever he wants.

The air around us is tight as we make our way to the playground, sitting down by the sandbox. He doesn't say anything the whole time and neither do I. What is there to say? For him, a lot maybe. For me, I can't even settle on a thought without it spiralling into something else. His confession rings in my mind. I feel a knot in my stomach.

Sand pours from between my fingers as I pick it up. It looks like a flowing river going on and on. Never ending. Every once in a while, it sways before hitting the ground as if dancing. I let myself get mesmerised by it.

"It was a Wednesday night," he starts, making me lift my head to look at him. He pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and puts a stick between his lips, while another hand reaches for a lighter. He takes a puff and breathes out a long line of smoke. The whole time he doesn't meet my eyes. Like the sand in between my fingertips, it dances in the air. The smirk he had on back in the car as we joked around is gone, replaced with a frown, and it scares me how fast things can change.

"I went for a midnight drive—you know, my usual," he shrugs. "Stubborn insomnia not letting me sleep, so I thought I'd go around for a bit to catch some air, clear my head, whatever. Anyway, I stayed close to my place for a while before going a little farther. No sign of sleepiness at all, so I went over to your block and passed by each of your houses at least three times or so," he chuckles weakly, remembering. "Man, I was crazy bored and just looking to kill some time, maybe wear myself out. I even thought of going over to the treehouse at the park and I don't know, just sit there and chill.

"I stopped by the 24-hour mini mart to grab some snacks. By this time, it was around 1, maybe 1:30 in the morning. I was heading back to my car and realised something weird, or at least, it felt out of place," he stops to finally look at me. My heart races when I catch his eyes. Something bad happened. I know it.

"There was a car parked across the road, and I saw it earlier while driving around. Of course, I didn't think much of it. Coincidence happen, right? And it wasn't a quite night, anyway. Bars were all open, and people were out. Plus, there's not a lot of 24-hour marts in our area, so, I ignored it. I went in my car, shut the door and drove off. Sleep was still nowhere in sight, so I thought I could still go around for a bit.

"But then I saw the car again. It was just passing by, sure. And we were opposite direction, so again, coincidence. Nothing more. I kept driving and before I know it, it was behind me. Far away, and kind of hard to tell in the dark, but I just knew. I had this awful feeling that I was being followed," he pauses, trying to recall the event. I don't move a muscle. "But, I kept my cool. There were still other cars around—not many, but they were there, and that made me feel better. I'd switch from one street to another, no pattern, just spontaneously. I wanted to see if it'd do the same. And it doesn't. Yet, I'd still see the car. The damn car. Freaked the hell out of me, but I was also curious. I should've just given up and called one of you, shouldn't I?"