Meet The Carters {Under Reconstruction}

Scars

I laid my head against the door the minute I reached Lincoln's door. I couldn't bring myself to knock, to try and comfort him. How could I? This was Lincoln Carter, the guy that had to start raising his younger siblings the minute he turned eleven, he knew exactly what he wanted to be when he was twelve. Then here I was, a confused eighteen year old girl thinking that she could actually help Lincoln out with his problems.

"Stella, you can come in." My head whipped up as I backed away from the door, my eyebrows drawing in confusion. How had he known it was me?

"Stella?" I swallowed the lump in my throat and opened the door a crack, gasping when I saw the room. I had been in everyone's room, whether it was to pick up their clothes or just to see it because they wanted me too, I had always felt a little honored to be in there. But I hadn't ever gone into Lincoln's room. When he left I had felt like it would be invading his privacy.

The walls were covered in drawings, some blueprints, some landscapes, and some just random pictures of people. I couldn't see one inch of the white wall of his room, it was actually really amazing.

"How'd you know it was me? How did you know I was even out there?" I asked Lincoln, my eyes still scanning the drawings on the wall. My gaze stopped beside me, at the portrait on the wall. I recognized the bright greenish gray eyes and the rusty brown hair that in the sunlight was sometimes red. The portrait was of me.

"You aren't a quiet person, Stella. Plus I heard your footsteps before you got to my room." He crossed the room to stand beside me, reaching to pull the picture from under the blue tack.

"I drew this before we moved. You were asleep on my bed and I couldn't sleep. I had started sketching you and I finally started to get the gist of it but I never got to finish the picture before we moved. So I just touched it up and colored it when we moved here." He explained, handing me the picture. I smiled as I flipped the picture over and read what it said.

"'My Beautiful Best Friend.'" I read aloud, looking up from the portrait and into Lincoln electric blue eyes.

"You can keep it. I don't have any use for it." He smiled halfheartedly as he went back to sit on his bed. I set the picture down on the dresser before joining him on the bed.

"Dustin didn't mean what he said, Link. He was just upset, he didn't think. . ."

"But he's right, Stella. I'm a coward. All I have ever tried to do was take care of all of them and I messed it all up by leaving when things were getting too hard." I looked away from his agony filled eyes and sighed.

"Your parents kicked you out, Link. It's not like. . ."

"It's my fault that I got kicked out. I wouldn't take their money, I wouldn't take anything they wanted to give me. All I wanted to do was make money on my own, make something out of myself without their money and help." I could feel something stir in the pit of my stomach and I laid a hand on Lincoln's shoulder.

"The kids will understand that, Link. If you tell them, I'm sure they'll understand everything."

"They'll still think I'm a coward, that I don't care anymore." His blue eyes looked like sparks as the room in the light in them, sending an involuntary shiver through me.

"Lincoln, try. Try to explain why you wanted to go out on your own. They aren't all kids anymore. Dustin's almost fifteen, the boys are almost seventeen, the girls are almost thirteen and they just keep growing older. And you know what I know for a fact? They need their older brother." Lincoln's eyes searched mine as I spoke, his eyes becoming bottomless as I stared into them.

"Stella?" He whispered, his eyes drifting down my face.

"Yeah?" I mumbled, my hands gripping the sheets. He brought his hand up to touch the birthmark under my right cheek. Something that only he and my parents knew about since I covered it up with make-up all the time.

"Can you ever forgive me? For leaving, for hurting you?" I pried my eyes from his own and looked down at his other hand which was resting on top of one of my own.

"I don't know, Link. It seems like every time I try too, every time I want too, you almost abuse my trust. You always leave." I replied, biting the inside of my lip.

"Give me another chance, Stel. If they see that you're making an attempt then maybe they'll try to forgive me too." I felt a sting in my heart at his words. Why had I thought this was about me and him? We had been talking about his siblings, so I guess I should have realized where the conversation was going.

"Stella?"

"Okay, sure. Yeah, I'll try and forgive you." I stood up and walked toward the door. I didn't make it very far before Lincoln spun me around so I was staring up at him.

"What's wrong? And if you tell me nothing, Stel, I swear I'll. . ."

"Nothing is wrong, Lincoln. I have to go make dinner for the kids." His eyes told me he didn't believe me, but he must have felt something else inside because he let my arm go and gestured for me to leave the room.

"I hate it when you lie, Stella. You're horrible at it." I had to bite my lip again to stop myself from snapping something crude back at him.

"Maybe I wouldn't be such a bad liar if I had a way out like you did, Lincoln. My parents expect the world from me, they expect this whole wonderful life for me. You don't know what it feels like to be nothing but a robot to your family. To be perfect." He looked a little taken back by my words and I took the chance to open his door.

"Stella you don't have to feel. . ."

"Don't tell me what I have to feel, Lincoln. I lie to those kids when I tell them I had an okay life. When I tell them that life is full of rainbows and unicorns," I paused and looked over my shoulder at him, "The truth is that life is nothing but a game that we are all pawns in. Whether we make it or not, well that depends on who's playing." With those last words, I slammed the door shut behind me.

***AN***

*Unedited*

Kind of a filler chapter. . . but I hope you enjoyed anyway!! 

Let me know what you thought!

~ChasingMadness24