Love to Hate You

Chapter Twenty-One - Define: Love

Mattie blinked, a warm hand encasing hers as she slowly opened her eyes and parted her lips. Rafe was smiling back at her; his eyes warm and soft and... sad.

'Raffey?' she whispered; her voice hoarse, her throat dry. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing, darling. I'm just glad you're well. I was so worried.' And he squeezed her hand again. Mattie glanced about her, noting the hospital bed and gown, as the events of the previous evening flooded back to her.

'You came, then?' she asked, with a sad, pained smile.

'Yes, sweetheart I did come. I'm sorry. I should have been here all along but I... I...' He grimaced and shook his head.

'You saw your brother touching me and thought we must be having sex?' came her clipped reply.

'No! I didn't! I just...' But he didn't know what to say and could only shrug.

'Come on, Raffey. Don't lie to me. You're not a liar.'

'You're right,' he said, contritely. 'I did – momentarily – think something I had no right in thinking. I was just so shocked and my brother – I can't think straight where he's concerned, so I went to leave and you didn't come after me, so I thought... I thought you would have if you cared.'

'I was ill!' Mattie accused.

'I know that, now. I didn't know it then.'

'What happened to me? Tobias kept telling me that I had a ruptured appendix.'

'No, sweetheart,' Rafe said, sadly, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it. 'You had an ectopic pregnancy and your fallopian tube ruptured. That's why you were in so much pain; why you felt so ill.'

'Pregnant?' she whispered.

'About nine weeks, the doctor said, and I think...' He blushed. 'I think it was the desk sex. I didn't use protection, now that I think about it.' Mattie only blinked in thought for a few moments, before nodding her head.

'So were they able to repair it? My tube thing?'

'No, darling,' Rafe said, kissing her fingers again, and stroking her cheek with his free hand. 'They couldn't save it, so they had to remove it.'

'So I've only got one ovary?' Rafe only smiled sadly. 'Can I still have children?'

'Yes,' he said, quickly. 'I looked it up online, and women tend to ovulate from one ovary one month, and the other the next. Maybe that means you'll only ovulate six times a year instead of twelve, or maybe the one you've got will work overtime? I don't know how it works, but we'll find out, and everything will be fine. I promise.' Mattie scowled, blinking back the tears, and then looked coldly at Rafe, and said in clipped tones, –

'Why are you here?'

'What?' he replied, incredulously. 'Because I'm with you; I want to be with you. I'm going to look after you and we're going to sort this out together.'

'Of course you're going to be with me – unless you suspect me of f*cking your brother again!' she hissed. 'What's the deal? I'll get accused of having an affair with him if our fingers touch when passing the salt over Sunday lunch at your mum's house? And God forbid if I should actually ever speak to him!'

'Don't be like that, Mattie. Please!' Rafe's eyes were wide and sad, and would have melted any woman's heart, but Mattie didn't feel as though she had one.

'I'm nothing like Bianca. I thought you knew that, but you obviously don't. If you did, you'd trust me.'

'I do trust you!' pleaded Rafe. 'It's Tobias. It just took me back to all those times I saw or heard or read something I didn't want to know, and it was a moment of madness. I wasn't thinking straight. If I was, I would have known that there could never be anything between you and Tobias.'