Taboo: Bittersweet Revenge (Sequel)

Fall from Grace

.........................................

The tears flew down endlessly, refusing to stop even if I tried. I know I shouldn't feel like way towards him. I shouldn't be overly invested in someone who lied to me my entire life. But the one thing I did not regret, was confronting my mother. It felt cathartic. 

I had bottled up those emotions towards her and pretty much left them behind me. She was just so insignificant in my life that the thought of her never crossed my mind. Now that old wounds were opening up, she did more than rub salt into them, she caused them.

The only comfort I have now is that she will die alone and unloved, exactly what she deserved for the damage she's caused along the way to her hopefully painful and slow death.

It takes all I have to remain courageous in the face of overwhelming adversity, yet my mother could shut down my confidence with merely her presence. That's the effect she had on me. That woman frightened me to the bone. Her absence of emotion even when her husband was on his death bed was a dead ringer. And her compassion for the pain of what her own daughter had endure, partly at her hands was inconceivable.

It began to dawn on me the similarities my twisted parents shared. They were both ruthless in their selfish pursuits of what they wanted. The concept of empathy escapes their knowledge. That's why that woman sent chills down my spine after every thought of her.

With my Dad half in the grave, I felt like she's lost her last connection to anything remotely human. She had nobody to keep her grounded and sane; not that she ever possesses those qualities.

Through my blurry vision, I noticed Christian walking through kitchen. He noticed me leaning against the wall, close to the door, hugging my arms around me as I allowed my tears to fall where they wanted.

His normally harsh eyes possessed a softness and vulnerability to them. Seeing his eyes after this is what needed to pull myself off the ground. I hated him seeing me so vulnerable and weak like this, but at this point, I had to escape. Not really feeling the need or desire to talk, I gave him an unsteady nod of my head, swallowing a large lump in my throat.

Safe to say he saw right through that one. He knew where I was tonight. He knew the kind of precarious position he put me in after that situation with Austin. "Do you wanna talk about it?", he asks, this time he sounded like he already knew the answer.

Again, I shook my head. After that, I couldn't hold anything in. He comes closer towards me, knowing what I needed the most wasn't to talk, but to just be in his arms. He pulls me close to his bare chest and envelops me with his warm embrace. I instantly responded by wrapping my arms around his waist to make sure he wasn't going anywhere.

I couldn't stand the thought of being anywhere else right now than here, in Christian's warm inviting arms. My fears slowly began to fade whenever I'm with him. And I knew that if I wanted him around forever, I had to swallow my pride.

When I look up at his striking blue eyes again, he wipes the tears that flowed down my cheeks with his large thumbs. In that moment, I knew he deserved more than the mess standing before him. He deserved an explanation. I was as stubborn and hard headed as they came, but when the demons of past come crawling back into your life, they have the power to hit you with a 1000 freight trains.

He always told me I had to drop this front. Whether I liked it or not, that's exactly what I'm doing. But, was it the right step to take?..

.................................................

(Noah's nightmare)

The white curtains flowed effortlessly against the summer breeze, and glow of the morning sun peaked through the windows. Looking down at the crib, my heart convulses with excitement and bliss. Everyday I do a double take and blink several times to make sure I wasn't imagining better things; a better life; a baby.