BTS X READER ONESHOTS

J-Hope // Sad

I swirled the liquid in my cup. The alchohol was making me slightly tipsy, but not numb of the pain. I sighed and took another sip.

"Yah, Jung Hoseok. You can't possibly stay like this for so long. You need to get out and about, go on with life. Go visit her, it's been almost two full years since you visited and you're still the same, always drinking." Namjoon scolded me.

I sighed again and took another sip. The alchohol was supposed to numb me of my pain, but why isn't it working anymore? I heeded Namjoon's words and trudged outside of my house. I set off for the place where I knew she would always be.

Going past the iron gates, I stopped at a familiar point and stared at what stood in front of me. I bit my lip and remembered everything that happened that day.

"(Y/n), mianhe. It's all my fault. Come back to me, will you? I miss you like hell. I've been drinking nonstop since you left me, but it stopped working after a while. I want you back, I hate living in this lonely world. No one understood me like you did, not even Bangtan. They have been telling me to visit you for a really long time, but I never had the courage to face you after what I done. But now I'm here, right in front of you. You must hate me more than ever, right? I doubt any type of apology can make up for what I did. I shouldn't have broken up with you, I shouldn't have let you run away from me, I shouldn't have let all this happen.

But I did, and I deeply regret everything now.

Because of you, I'm ruined. Every word you said to me in the past was like a mask that hid the truth and ripped me apart. I'm going crazy, I hate this, why can't it be taken away? It goes round and round, why do I keep coming back to this? I'm going down and down, slowly becoming an idiot for you. Whatever I do, I can't help but feel the pain continuously. They're my feelings and my heart, but why are they hurting when I don't allow them to?

Why must my feelings be given to you of all people? Was it fate? I don't know. Please don't tell me it's love, but tell me it's all a lie, just a stupid lie I've been living through. I can't help myself, I keep loving you even if I know I will get hurt. I was a fool.

There's no point in me saying all this to you, but I have to get it off my chest someday, which is today. I'm sorry I wasn't able to get you flowers or something you liked. Forgive me.

I know one thing for sure, and that is I was right about what I about what I last told you. I wasn't able to finish what I said before you left, so I'm going to say it now. Only fools fall for you, and I'm that fool. This might be the last time I'm visiting you, so I will say this one last time. I love you."

I finished. I didn't know that I was crying until I saw teardrops falling onto the ground below me. I wiped my wet cheeks and smiled at the stone, bending down to kiss it.

I turned away and left. I made up my mind, I was going to put a stop to all of my misery. I couldn't take it anymore. I don't want to be alone anymore. I would call myself 'bangtansonyeondan' with the six people I spent most of my time with, but that name was never true.

The six might be stronger and tougher to crack than me, but none of us were bulletproof. Especially not me. I picked up the item and felt the coolness of the metal in my palm. I held it up and pulled the trigger, ending everything with just a loud bang.

~~~

I'm so sorry if you cried while reading this, but don't worry, it's just a fanfiction and we all know that Hobi wouldn't do something stupid like that. Sorry if the oneshot is too short, but I ran out of inspiration, please forgive me>~< On the bright side, happy 4k reads, even though my oneshots aren't the best. I love all of you readers and please continue to enjoy and support this series! <3