Here Without You

Chapter 17:

Chapter 17

A plus symbol.

It can mean many things, from the days in school when I used it in algebra and geometry to when I use to link my name to Drews' or Sam's with it. With an excessively obnoxious amount of hearts surrounding our names. But now, that symbol can mean a lot more than a teenage highschool crush. It holds the balance of my career, my life, and my reputation solely on those two crossed lines. It can decifer whether I'm considered a good rolemodel or a bad one to the little girls screaming at my concerts. I mean why would a mom want their 7-year old to model themselves after someone that would do this?

The plus symbol took my way of life and flipped it completely, and the shocking part is, I wouldn't have suspected it. I'm careful, abnormally careful about these kinds of things. I never try to take it too far but when I do allow myself to, I'm always wary. This was not my expectation.

My hands cover my head, Harrys hand rubbing circles on my back. I groan, we aren't ready to be parents. He's 19 for crying out loud.. literally. And i-well I just didn't intend for this to happen. I wanted to get married and then have kids but now... well now I'm pregnant. The absolute worst situation I could get into right now. I mean I have people that look up to me? My fans don't deserve this, but they don't deserve to be lied to either. Ugh, why me?

I start sending up prayers, muttering and silently until it breaks into crying and pleas. "Are we keeping it?" Harry mumbles after I compose myself a little bit. I stare at him dead in the eye, my expression unflinching in shock. Does he even know me? I would never in a million years kill an innocent human being, no matter what the situation. Would he? If he'd kill a baby, his baby, then what's the difference in killing someone he loves, like me?

"Are you joking? You'd kill your own innocent child? What's the difference than killing your child to me, Harry? Huh? Its no different! I would never kill a child or commit an abortion or whatever! Do you even know me?" I shout, my voice echoing through the empty halls of the hospital waiting area. He sits back a little then his demeanor softens until his face turns into shame. He looks down, his cheeks glowing pink.

"I- Taylor, I'm sorry, its just- this is so sudden and I'm just not ready to be a father. I love you more then anything but a kid? Taylor, there's nothing more i'd love to do then settle down and have a family with you but now? I don't want to make this sound like I'm walking out, because I'm not. I'd never do that to you or my child but, I'm just telling y-"

"-No Harry, I'm telling you. I will not have an abortion." I state. He runs a hand through his curls with a sigh. His eyes have dark circles under them and he looks exhausted. It must be 6:00AM at the least. We've been up all night.

"Then I guess we'll have to face this head on, together." He breathes, lacing our hands together.

"Together. Forever." I repeat in a scratchy sleepless voice. He grins, his thumb stoking my hand gently.

This is not the end to this conversation, this is only the start of warfare. As soon as the news gets out, I will be hated by even more, my esteemed reputation going down the drain. So its settled, we keep it quiet until absolutely necessary which is when my babybump is evident. Until then, we act normal but even more in love, though that's not really an act. Harry is already being more attached to me so he doesn't become a distant father. I understand, one day we probably will get married. Hopefully soon. I could never handle a child alone, the heartbreak of having no father would hurt the kid more then me. What a crazy day..

••