THE AWESOMEST DUNGEON EVER!!!

The Room

A/N: hugsie7 andCupcakequeen321 requested this/ threatened my croissants, so here it is. Again. 

The man was tall and broad-shouldered with a shock of almost-luminous blond hair and creepy black eyes. Jace was staring at him with shock. "You... you... you are dead?!" "Well that's no way to treat the man who raised you." His voice was completely rid of emotion, only a bit of humour managed to make it's way through. It reminded Captain Jack of a robot. "Now, all of you, better come after me." He stated. 

He lead them to the room at the end of the corridor and they turned through one of the doors. The room, unlike any of the other rooms that they had seen so far, had two high-up windows. Soft light filtered through, highlighting the dust in the air. The room was quite small and it was mainly taken up by a large wooden  stairwell. They followed the man up the stairs. 

What Jack saw next made him gasp. Behind a door was a huge room, carved completely out of oak. A crystal chandelier hung from a tall ceiling. Three  magnificent thrones, covered in jewels were at the north side of the room. The centre throne and the throne on left side were occupied, both by women. The woman on the centre throne was strangely familiar. 

It was the other woman who seemed to catch Thorne's eyes, though. "Oh, stars, no" He moaned."No, no, no, not you again, you are meant to be very dead. You died, remember? You died. Which means  you're not meant to come back to life! Especially not in the past!"

Jack presumed he should recognise the woman on the middle throne, the one which was about a foot higher than the rest of them and scream out that she was meant to be dead. But the recognition was very vague if instant. He knew it would come eventually, but for now, he was clueless. 

The woman on the centre throne began to speak. "You have escaped... and you are... topless? "
It was by her unforgettable whiney voice that the Captain recognised her. It was Cassandra the skin lady... only in human form. "You, again" He muttered.

"Well, that wasn't the reaction I was expecting " Cassandra tutted.
"Darling, I'm never what anyone was expecting" Jack raised an eyebrow seductively. Cassandra rolled her eyes. The expression was strangely familiar. "May I ask again, why are they topless?" Questioned the other woman. "And how did they escape? "

"Apparently it's a "long story"" Said the man. "It is a very long story" Said Thorne. "Well, we have all day" Said Cassandra. Jace sighed and told the story of how they escaped. "Well, that maid will certainly be killed." Said the other woman. "Yes, GUARDS! KILL THE WEAK LADY WHO FAINTED AT THE SIGHT OF THESE THREE TOPLESS MEN AND LET THEM ESCAPE" Commanded Cassandra. The guards reluctantly marched off, they didn't want to kill the poor woman, barely more than a girl, but the consequences if they didn't were worse than simply death, so they obliged but with heavy hearts to do their duty. "And, to you three, well, you are probably wondering what you are doing here" "Let me guess, you couldn't resist our amazing looks or  wonderful charms." Jace teased. "No,that is not the case."Said the man Jack took to be Jace's dad again without a hint of humour in his steely voice. 

"Please, no one interrupt her ladyship" Said the woman on the left. Thorne snorted very loudly. "Since when have you been happy with second in command to anyone, Levana?" Levana smiled smugly. "We owe this woman our lives and will serve her accordingly" "SILENCE!!!!!" Shouted Cassandra. The room went amazingly quiet, considering it contained some of the most talkative people in the universe. "Good, now, I shall start by introducing myself and my *ahem* assistants. I am the Great Lady Cassandra 'O' Brien , born in the year 107 T.E. in Los Angeles and was a friend of Thorne's until I moved away, age eleven. I get a total of 708 surgeries and marry twenty three people before my death, shortly after the end of the world, five billion years from this year exactly." "At that point, you were more of a stretch of skin, with a face caked in make up, constantly shouting "Moisturise  me!" than an actual human being,  but you  kept on insisting that you were the last remaining human being. Rose and The Doctor told me all about you and a while ago, or maybe a million years in the future, with time travel it's hard to tell." 

Cassandra glared. "As I was saying I got a visit from my future self, and, as Rose and The Doctor probably told, or will tell, or whatever, Jack, my future self died heroically  in my arms. And I swore to avenge my future self, by travelling to the past, collecting an army and summoning a demon to raise dead people who also want to take over the planet. I also tried to raise Voldemort, but sadly, he didn't agree to my terms and conditions; so I had to let him go.  Anyway..." She sighed "We decided to kidnap our most annoying and self-centered nemeses first. Then, use them as bait and watch the rest of our  enemies come like bees to the honey and suffer the terrible pains of torture."

"And how are they meant to find us?" Questioned Thorne. "I don't know about the rest of you, but my crew will be a couple of hundred years in the future, without a fancy time-machine." Cassandra laughed. "Well, I have gotten a tried and tested trail leading them straight to a time around a few weeks in our future. It might take them a different amount of time, let's say, three weeks, to find the trail but, it will always lead to the same time for us. All of the crews will arrive together, no matter how long it takes them to find you themselves. You probably won't understand this, as aside from Mr.Harkness, the three of you have no idea of time travel and this sounds very complicated but it is not as complicated as it sounds. By the way, to ensure things go smoothly, we've set the year to 1964, but that doesn't matter, since you will never come out of this alive."

Captain Jack was completely lost, but he presumed what the lady was saying was right. And as for him being apparently "annoying" and "self-centered", HOW DARE SHE! She was right about the rest of them though. They were quite egotistical. He worried for a couple of seconds, but then remembered he was immortal, so that didn't matter. But as for Rose and The Doctor, well that mattered. He couldn't let innocent(-ish) people die. 

"These are my assistants, Levana and Valentine, by the way, I hope they treat you very well. And the day on which your friends are coming, is exactly four weeks from today, so you will have plenty of time to get to know them. And we are now installing voice recordings in the room, so no scheming against us. That is all."

Jack pursed his lips and looked around at the others, who were both in shock. This was gonna be a long four weeks.