Night 14

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넘어져도 괜찮아.
It's okay to fall down.

5:35 a.m

After a period of time I suffered, I had enough of this torture. I can't take it no more. My head pounding, my heart aching, my body felt like dying. I feel like a living corpse.

But the only resolution to this suffering that I know is alcohol, I drown myself every night, in bottles and bottles of the alcoholic drink. I drink, to forget about you. I drink, and drink even though I feel like dying.

In order to,
erase you from my mind.

But it's all useless anyway. Just like my other attempts to escape this reality.

Because even when I'm drunk, I still can't get you out of my mind. Your scent still lingers in my house, your voice is still playing in my ears. Your face. It's still smiling to me in my own head. Although it's just an imaginary, I can feel own mouth shaping into a smile too.

What did you do to me, my love? Trapping me inside this suffocating world, letting me destroys myself day by day.

The burning feeling of my throat became my addiction over the days, replacing the feeling of your lips on mine. But then again, I still can't get over it.

The guys had given up on me, saying that they will give me some time to heal. Someone said that people's pain heal over time. But baby, people say time flies, but you keep breaking it's wings.

The pain won't fade, it'll just stay with me, to remind me of how much I love you, how much of an idiot I am, for letting you go.

Just because of my anxiety.

❝-If only,
I can turn back time,
You'll still be by my side,
And this torture with no ending point,
Will be finally gone.

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