Calories

Chapter Seventeen

We had sex and I bottomed and now Ana is mad at me. Of course I'm mad at you. Don't you want to get thin? Don't you want my help? Of course I want your help, Ana. Then follow my directions.

"I love you so much," Frank says.

"I love you too, Frankie," I say. We had tried to stay quiet since Mikey was in the house, but he still knew what we were doing.

Now we're cuddling. We haven't gotten dressed yet, but my mom won't be home for at least 15 minutes anyways. It feels so good to have his arms wrapped around me, but I still feel guilty because now Ana is upset with me and I missed out on an opportunity to burn more calories.

Frank grabs my hand and just holds onto it, and I snuggle closer to his back. I love the feeling of his skin against mine, whether it's sexual or not. In this case, the only reason this could be considered sexual is because we just had sex.

I hear the front door open and I almost scream. My mom is home early, and I'm cuddling naked with my boyfriend that she doesn't know I have.

"Shit. We need to get dressed," I say, panicking slightly. Frank just holds me tighter against him, which I wouldn't normally mind, but I'm currently cuddling naked with my boyfriend while my mom is in the house.

"But this is so comfy," he complains, burying his head in my neck.

"Yeah, but my mom just got home," I say, trying to get out of his grip, but he holds me tighter if that's even possible.

"I love you so much," he whispers in my ear.

"I love you more," I say, still trying to roll out of his grip. He finally lets go of me and I almost fall off the bed because I wasn't expecting him to let go of me so suddenly. I grab my clothes and start getting dressed.

"You know, you have a really nice ass," Frank says.

"Frank. My mom is downstairs. As much as I like your comments on my ass, I need you to not make them around my mom... Are you even getting dressed Jesus fucking Christ," I say quietly. He's still lying down on the bed, just watching me get dressed.

He hesitantly sits up and starts picking up his clothes and putting them on as I pull on my shirt over my head.

"I'm tired, Gee," Frank mumbles.

"I know. So am I. Hurry up," I say.

"I'm trying," he says.

"Do you need me to put your shirt on for you?" I ask sarcastically.

"That would be nice," he says, handing me his shirt. I take his shirt from him and pull it on over his head. He smiles at me and we end up going downstairs.

"Hey mom, I have Frank over, that's okay right?" I say as I walk into the kitchen where my mom is already making dinner.

"Yeah that's fine," she says turning around. She always liked Frank because he always seemed really nice to her "Did you take my makeup?"

Shit. I forgot I was wearing her eyeliner. I should have washed it off when I got home. Although, Frank thought it was hot, so I guess I'm glad I kept it on.

"Well.... I borrowed it," I say.

"You didn't ask me," she says, glaring at me.

"It didn't seem too important," I say.

"Just wash it off," she says before returning to her cooking. I go back upstairs and Frank follows me.

"So I didn't think this through and I don't know how to wash off makeup," I tell Frank. All he does is laugh at me.

"Do you want help?" he asks through his laughter.

"Yes," I say. You're just going to let him laugh at you? I guess it's sort of funny. It's rude to laugh at people, even if what they did was fucking stupid. It was only a little stupid. He still shouldn't laugh. He's my friend. I don't mind when he laughs at me. But I'm a better friend than him and I think it's rude. Fuck off.

I want Ana to help me but she can be really annoying sometimes.

Frank helps me wash off the eyeliner and we get most of it off. I let him do most of the work because he doesn't seem to mind and I like it when he touches my face. The entire time neither of us can stop laughing.

"Okay, you're all set," Frank says. I laugh slightly and we go back downstairs and into the kitchen where my mom is almost done making dinner.

"Frank, do you want to stay for dinner? You can stay the night if you want," my mom says. If it had been anyone else she wouldn't offer to let them stay the night, but she knows Frank really well.

"I'll stay the night," Frank says, glancing over at me. He texts his mom and puts his phone back in his pocket.

Dinner goes smoother than expected. I was thinking that Frank would do something embarrassing like grab my thigh and I thought Mikey would casually mention that Frank just fucked me but none of that happens. Dinner happens like a normal dinner should.

After dinner I lead Frank back up the stairs. We've gone up and down the stairs a lot today and all I can think of is that it's burning a lot of calories.

You are so fucking stupid. You just ate a full meal. What is wrong with you. There's no way you can burn enough calories if you keep eating like this. Shit. I completely forgot. It's not like I can casually go for a run if my mom is home either. She would wonder what's up with my sudden interest in exercise.

What am I supposed to do. Now I'm going to get fatter. I'm too pissed off at you to talk to you. Maybe Mia will help you. I almost forgot about Mia. She's supposed to help me when I fuck up.

I'll help you. You have to get rid of the food. Just like you did yesterday. I can't do that now, Mia. Frank left last time because of that. Well be smarter. Don't get caught. I tried last time. He caught me. Try again. Do you want to lose weight or not?

I do want to lose weight. I really do. It's literally the only thing I want right now. But I don't want Frank to yell at me. Maybe I should take my chances. Yes. Take chances. It'll help you.

I tell Frank that I'm going to the bathroom and try to walk away from him but he grabs my wrist.

"No, you aren't. I am not going to let you do this. You can't do that again," Frank says, obviously knowing my plan.

"Frank, no let go of me," I say. I don't want to lie and say that I'm not going to puke, but I don't want to tell him what I'm going to do, even if he already figured it out.

"Gerard. I will not allow you to throw up. That's the first food you've had in probably over a day. You need to keep it in you," Frank says.

"Frank, you don't fucking understand. I'm too fat. I don't understand why you don't see that," I say, struggling against his grip.

"You're so thin Gerard. What do are you trying to accomplish?" Frank asks me.

"I need to be thinner. I want to be able to see my hips bones and my collar bone. I want a thigh gap," I tell him.

"You already have all those things. I can see your hip bones and collar bone. You already have a thigh gap. This isn't healthy," he says. It's not healthy to be fat. You don't want to be fat.

"I want more though. I want a bigger thigh gap. I want to see my hip bones more," I say. He tightens his grip on my arm. I can tell I'm not getting out of this one easily.

"This is so unhealthy. If you try to get thinner you might die," Frank says. I can tell he wants to cry. His eyes are starting to water and when he talks his voice is unsteady.

"Well, at least I won't die fat," I say.