Joke! Joke! Joke!

Inday

1.
Amo: inday, may pulubi s gate,paalisinn mo nga..
Inday: Right away!
Inday to Beggar: hey you putrid-smelling beggar with the diverse ambiance of scented junk that assails everybody's nostrils & carbon free lungs, please go away now!
Beggar: What?! Who do you think you are?!You pathetic trying hard nanny! how could you, a social climber & very low grade mammal, underestimate a high-class beggar like me? what the hell with u!
Inday: nakakasakit kana ah! mam oh,ayaw umalis oh..hehe!

2.
Amo: Inday, ba't umiiyak ka?
Inday: Sabi po ng doktor tatanggalan daw ako ng butlig..
Amo: Butlig lang iiyak ka na?!!
Inday: Okay lang kung right lig o lep lig lang, kaso but lig eh!

3.
Tatay: Laki ng PLDT bills dito sa bahay. i don't use this phone naman, i use my office phone.
Nanay: Same here. I use my work phone.
Anak: Me too, i use my company phone.
Inday: So what's the problem? We all use the phone in our work, di ba?

4.
Inday: Walang hiyang kang lalaki ka pinuyat mo ako kagabi
Dodong: Bakit ano ba ginawa ko
Inday: Nagsasalita ka ng mga pangalan ng mga babae merong Tina, Marie, Rose etc.ect.etc
Dodong: So ano ngayon, ano kinalaman ko sa pagkapuyat mo
Inday: Hinihintay ko kc banggitan mo pangalan ko eh

5.
Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo,
nakitang me bukol si junior.
Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: (nosebleed)

6.
Sa isang sikat na restaurant..
Waiter: Ano po order nila, ma'am, sir?
Amo: whole roasted chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano order mo?
Inday: I would like to partake of a dish sauteed pork and chicken boiled in thick essence of soy sauce & veggies, like carrots, cauliflower, and baguio beans. Sprinkled generously with fine spices and spring onion, generously helping of rootcrop and rice!
Amo: Bigyan mo raw ng chopseuy 'tong abnormal na 'to! Lagyan mo marang vetsin nang mamatay na!

7.
(Pacquiao's calling)
Inday: Gunaydin! (Good morning in Turkish)
Pacquiao: Hilow! Is Mr. Montinigru ober dir? I want to jas know ip can he be here to catch me in di ring por di fight? I can be winning. Im not to be in di lose.
Inday: ha? (nosebleed)-na knockout sa Inglis ni Manny! Sa wakas natalo rin si Inday.

8.
Amo: Inday kpg may naghahanap samin sabihin mo "umalis" "nagsimba sa quiapo" kapag tinanong kung kailan ang balik sabihin mo "malapit na"
Inday: Opo Kuya!
(Mine-morize ni inday ung sagot pero hindi ang tanong)
(Habang naglilinis sa labas si inday, merong nagtatanong mula sa BAYGON Company
Ahente: Mom, meron po ba kau lamok, ipis, at daga?
Inday: Umalis!
Ahente: Ha?? San Pumunta.
Inday: Nagsimba sa Quiapo!
Ahente: Nababaliw na Ata to?
Inday: Malapit na!