Juliettes POV:
I was lying on my bed in tears. I didn't remember how I got here, just that this was where I ended up. The walls are closing closing closing in on me. I couldn't breathe. I was faintly aware of someone whispering words of comfort, hushing me, telling me everything was going to be alright. But it wasn't. My best friend was gone. The second person I loved most in this world was gone, had abandoned me in my time of need.
2 hours before
I watched as his face fell with the news. The bomb was dropped and Kenji was afraid it would explode. He just stared at me in shock, his eyes locked on my own. Searching, trying to find a lie in the truth. I didn't think he would react like this. I thought he would be happy for me and Aaron. I thought I would be bombarded by questions. But I wasn't. He didn't say or ask me anything. He just stared. A deer caught in the headlights of the truth. He looked so desperate, desperate to say something, anything that would make up for his lack of words. But still he didn't. Instead he turned on me and walked out of the room. Then the darkness came.
I don't remember falling asleep. But I did. I don't know how I recognised the darkness of sleep compared to the darkness I knew hours before, but I did. Because this darkness was filled with nightmares.
My stomach was huge. All I knew was pain and blood. Then my child was in my arms. But something was wrong. It was crying, screaming, filled with only the knowledge of pure terror and pain no one was there. I didn't know what to do. I started panicking, trying to calm the baby. Then I feel the familiar feeling. A satisfaction, a strength, that I couldn't have without drawing from someone else. I look down at the baby in my arms. "No." I was hurting it. My ability to keep my power under control had gone and I was killing my child. My child. My beautiful child with Aaron's bright green eyes and my dark hair and I was killing it. I scream for Aaron and he runs into the room. I throw the baby to him. But it wasn't Aaron's arms the baby landed in, it was Adam's, and in his hand...a knife. He looks at me, his face blank, emotionless. "You broke my heart. Its only fair that I do the same, don't you think?" His voice sounded so much like his fathers, it makes me scream with terror. And he drove the knife through my child.
I wake up screaming. I screamed and screamed and screamed until my throat was raw. After everything I had been through, I finally snapped. Aaron's hand was on my shoulder. He was trying to reach me, be heard through the screams, but I was pushing him away. Trying not to touch him, afraid of the risks.
"STOP IT! I'LL HURT YOU! YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME! I'M A MONSTER!" I refused his comfort. I would be the death of him and our baby. I'm a killer. I was backing away now, untangling the sheets, falling off the bed, tripping over my own feet, cowering in the corner of the room. He wrapped himself around my shuddering body, pressing my fists against his chest, letting me cry and scream until I had nothing left to give. No voice left to scream, no salt left to waterfall down my cheeks, nothing
nothing
nothing left.
I was in darkness. Drowning in it, gasping for air, trying to grab onto anything to pull myself up. But I was weak. Reduced to the girl I first was.
A killer.
A monster.
A shadow that the sun could never reach.
T h e n t h e r e w a s h i s v o i c e.
Holding me anchor. Pulling me out of the dark I was losing myself in. Always there. Bringing me back.
"Juliette.
Juliette.
Juliette."
Three times. Three breaths. Three seconds.
"Come back to me my love."
And finally I resurfaced.
"He killed our baby, Aaron! I was killing our baby!" I cry. Tears still stream down my face.
"No no no no love! Look, our child is still there!" He puts a hand on my swollen stomach. "It's okay, love. It's okay. It's okay." He holds my head to his chest, sitting on the carpet with me until my breathing slows.
I tilted my head back to look at his face. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his gaze was unfocused, staring straight ahead.
"Juliette?"
"Yeah"
"Who killed our baby?"
"Oh." I look at the ground."I couldn't really see his face." I answer. I can feel Aaron looking at me out of the corner of his eye.
He sighs. "Please juliette, just tell me." His voice is tired, and he leans his head against the wall.
He knows me too well. I hesitate, feeling that sinking feeling all over again. "Adam" I whisper. "It was Adam"
"Oh Juliette" Aaron whispers back, and hugs me tighter against his warm body. "I'm sorry you had to go through that"
"That's okay" I say back. He sees through my lie again. Because we both know that nightmares like that are never okay.
