Ashes // l.h.

25. bus stop

The 1975- If I Believe You

25. bus stop

It's been a little over a week and me and Luke have hardly spoken at all. We ignore each other whenever we're with our friends and barely even spare a moment to look at one another. The distance between us stings a bit especially on the nights when the stars are out and I want nothing more than to have him listen to me go on and on about my fears, my dreams, my pains and problems; but it seems as if he's never going to let go of this refusal he has to accept me and Ashton's relationship. No matter how complicated it gets, it's not up to him to decide whether or not I stay or go. He has to understand and accept that.

"Andie...? Andie, are you even listening to me?" Grace waves her hand in my face, breaking me from my trance. It seems as if I've dozed off again and got lost in my own head again.

"What? Yeah, yeah. Of course I am." I lie to her.

"Well Mikey thinks he's making me jealous with this little Cathy bitch, but he's not. She's like 30. I always knew he liked older women. He practically drooled over my own mother. My own mother, Andie!"

I look up at her from my burger. "He met your mother?"

"She kind of walked in on us having sex, so yeah, he's met my mother." She shrugs lightly and that's when I hear the familiar sound of the bell above the Diner door ring, signaling a new customer has just walked in. I tense once I see Christina alongside Nessa and Christina has the same reaction I do.

Grace notices them as well. "Chris, over here!" The two of them are speaking again and I'm glad they are considering I was the reason they stopped for a while. I don't ever want to be the reason for the end of a relationship of any sorts, even if the person is as awful as Christina is.

Christina smiles half-heartedly and walks over, Nessa hesitantly following after her. "Hey. Haven't seen you in a while." Christina slides into the booth next to Grace, leaving Nessa to sit beside me.

"I've been accepting some booty calls after me and Mikey...split up or whatever." Grace explains. "Hi Nessa," Grace acknowledges her and I can tell she's trying to form some kind of friendship with her where the atmosphere between them isn't so awkward. "I didn't know you two were friends."

Nessa smiles, and her eyes light up like she's excited Grace didn't act the way she did the time Nessa stopped by the apartment unannounced; like she's excited that Grace isn't looking at her like the crazy girl who was sleeping around with both the Hemmings' brothers or the crazy girl who got shipped off to a mental hospital. "Yeah, we talked a little in high school, but got closer after I came back."  She explains.

"Came back from where?" Grace asks.

"Looneyville," Nessa answers.

Grace's mouth turns into an 'o' shape. "Wow, I feel like an asshole. I should've known that."

"Hey, it's cool. I'm not ashamed of it." Nessa laughs. "That girl's not me anymore, the one that got sent away. I was reborn again, I pressed the restart button on my life."

If only there was such a thing. "What's new with you, Andie?" Christina asks me unexpectedly.

I look up at her, to make sure she actually just spoke to me and she must have because she's looking at me as if she's waiting for a reply. "Nothing." I say. If she's willing to be civilized with me, then I am too even if it's in a condescending manner.

"Hard to believe. You always got something going on." She raises her eyebrows.

"It's crazy how you two are friends and nothing's awkward." Grace tells both Christina and Nessa.