Ashes // l.h.

40. don't tell

Greg Laswell- Comes And Goes

40. don't tell

I stand in the shower, letting the hot water run down my chest as I bite my nails nervously; the craving of the drugs settling in again, but I can't let it win, I won't. I've been clean for more than three weeks now, and I intend to stay that way. Luke just assumes I don't think about it that much anymore, but I do; I was addicted, and addiction doesn't go away that quickly or easily.

I am a fighter.

I've been through the ugliest of wars, and have endured some dark battles, overcoming the worst, but still, I struggle. That means, still, I must fight.

The bathroom door opens, and Luke walks in, still looking half asleep as he walks over to the sink to brush his teeth. "Morning beautiful." He says with his toothbrush in his mouth.

He told me to leave the door unlocked, so he'd join me in the shower, but now I'm running late for class, and don't think it's such a good idea afterall.

"Morning sleepyhead...we're going to be late." I tell him.

He washes his mouth out then closes the door behind him before he starts to undress. "Do you want me to go to class, a dirty boy?"

"You're already a dirty boy, though." I joke.

He steps into the shower, gripping my hips to pull me into a deep and passionate kiss. "Your dirty boy."

I smile, and reach behind him for the bottle of shampoo. "Do you remember what you told me last night? After I told you I had read the letter?" I squeeze some of the shampoo into my hand and begin to massage it into his hair. 

"I told you I love you." He says, reaching up with his hand to caress my cheekbone with the pad of his thumb.

"I thought- I just thought you might've said it while you were asleep or something, and didn't mean it-"

"I know what I said, Bambi." He backs me up into the tiled wall behind me, so the water can run over his hair and wash away all the shampoo. Then he leans in and connects his lips to my neck. I instantly shiver, and he continues to kiss lower, towards the top of my bare chest. "I love you..." He raises his head so he connect his lips with mine. "More than I've ever loved anyone or anything. Fuck, I love you so much."

"Luke," I say breathlessly as he presses up against me and pushes his tongue into my mouth. With a strong grip on my hips, he pulls away to turn me around so now my back is facing him. He pushes my wet hair aside, and kisses my neck again, just below my ear before dragging his lips down to my shoulder blade. On instinct, I arch my back and press my backside against him, signaling to him that I need him. "We're definitely going to be late for class now."

Yes, we are.

••••••••••

After my last class, in the afternoon, I take the city bus to the Diner to meet all my friends there, a kind of ritual we have by now. Every day of the week except Tuesdays, Thursdays, and the weekend; we meet here at two o'clock for lunch, a ritual I love. Just as I'm getting off the bus and walking towards the Diner, my phone begins to ring in my pocket. I'm surprised to see Christina's name on my screen, but of course, I answer it.

"Christina?" I answer with an uneasy tone to my voice, confused as to why she's calling me especially since none of us have really heard from her in so long.